Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves
by Zebeckras
Summary: A Long Time Ago in a Kingdom Far, Far Away, a band of legendary thieves made their names known throughout the countryside. Now an independant princess finds herself getting to know them firsthand, like it or not. AU, Webfoot continuity, semiold.
1. Chapter 1

Darkwing Duck: And Now For Something Completely Different!  
**Prince of Thieves**

* * *

_a/n - this is one of the odder forays I've made into the DWverse. It's a Webfoot story but don't hold fast to the characterizations from before. I had a lot of fun with this, though it's somewhat old so the writing is a bit unpolished... Well anyway, it's lengthy so enjoy!_

* * *

Act I

A long time ago, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a young king and queen - Herb and Binkie respectively. They were happy enough as rulers of Santa Canardia, but they wanted a child. Feeling that they lacked the experience necessary to raise a child from birth, they decided to get the hang of the whole parenting thing _and_ help a good cause at the same time by adopting an orphan over the age of three.

On the happy day, King Herb celebrated with his friend, the King of the neighboring kingdom of Duckbergia. The four-year-old girl Herb and his wife had adopted was in the nursery with her new mother and the Queen of Duckbergia. Herb, pleased with the smooth progression of the day's events, smiled broadly and raised his mug of root beer in a toast. "To my daughter... May she always be happy!"

"Here, here!" After taking a long swig of root beer, the King of Duckbergia wiped his mouth and gave a contented sigh. "Well, Herb, she's a beautiful little lady."

"That's _King_ Herb," said the monarch. Herb was very proud of his kingship, and refused to let people forget it. He was not exactly egotistical, however. In fact, he was a very nice man, just not too bright. "And yes," he agreed with his fellow ruler, "she is beautiful." Pensive, Herb thought of traditions to uphold now that he had a child. "You have a son," he said to his friend. "Howzabout our kids get hitched?"

"Sure," said the King of Duckbergia. His son was about six, and had refused to attend the Royal Adoption Ceremony and subsequent reception that day. "Sorry the boy wasn't here today... He doesn't like girls very much right now. Got something about cooties y'know."

"Right," said Herb. "I was a boy once too. So, it's settled, they're arranged to be married! How wonderful!"

The two kings laughed with each other for a few lengthy moments, both in excellent humors. "Say, your Majesty," said Herb modestly, "could you pass me the cheese curls?"

The laughter stopped suddenly. "Uh...," said the King of Duckbergia. He looked about guiltily as he tried to wipe the bright orange cheese dust from his fingers and around his mouth.

King Herb noticed the cheese dust, as well as the empty bowl that was sitting next to his friend. It took him a moment or two to piece together the scene before him, but suddenly- with an almost audible "click" sound- he understood. Anger, a rare emotion for him, rose in him rapidly. He loved his cheese curls, and for them to have all been eaten without permission was a capital offense... Or at least, it would be from now on, he resolved. "You have really done it this time!" he shouted, jumping to his feet. "Just for this, my daughter will _never_ marry your son! In fact, now that I'm thinkin' about it, she should never have to put up with this sort of thing from men at all! From this day forward, I vow that my daughter'll never marry!"

"Laying it on kind of thick, aren't you?" said the King of Duckbergia. Herb had never been one to think his decisions through very well, but he'd never quite gone this far before. Then again, none of the disagreements between them had ever involved food before.

"Oh, I'm not done with you yet, Spud," said Herb. The King of Duckbergia gulped as he realized that his old friend was _really_ mad this time.

* * *

"Do you want a cookie, dear?" Queen Binkie asked her new daughter. The Princess nodded her head. 

"Oh, isn't she darling?" exclaimed the Queen of Duckbergia. Binkie was quick to agree.

A sudden commotion began in the next room, and without warning, both kings burst into the nursery. "Out! GO!!" cried King Herb fiercely. "And if you or anyone in your family shows their face here again, I'll have them thrown in the dungeon!"

"Herb! What happened?" exclaimed a puzzled Binkie as the Royal Couple of Duckbergia bustled their way out of the castle. Sternly, she asked, "Did you lose your temper over jelly beans again?"

Herb, who was now pouting, muttered, "It was over cheese curls." He noticed his daughter, staring at him rather fearfully. All traces of anger left his face as he picked her up. "Don't worry, sweetie. You'll never have to worry about anyone eatin' alla your cheese curls!" The duckling didn't know what he meant, but she was happy that he was smiling at her, so she smiled back. "That's our little Elizabeth!" said Herb. He and Binkie took turns cooing over her the rest of the evening.

* * *

Years later, Princess Elizabeth had grown into womanhood. She had eventually gained two younger brothers, Honker and Tank, both of whom were actually born to her parents. It had taken her a few years to adjust to sharing her parents, but after a while she had grown tired of the constant attention, and had let her brothers take the focus of the Royal couple's doting. Lately Elizabeth had been wanting something more from her life, not just the same old thing. Being a princess seemed to consist mostly of sitting at home in the palace and looking sophisticated all day long. She was brilliant, had taken lessons on everything available, and what did that get her? At first she'd taken all those lessons to fill the void in her life, but it seemed to have worsened the situation. After all, why bother learning to swordfight, or square dance, or even tend pigs, when she would never have an opportunity to use any of these skills while she was essentially trapped inside the castle? 

One day, Elizabeth woke up with a decision in her head. She discussed it with her friend, Gosalyn Waddlemeyer, before anyone else. Gosalyn was much younger than she was, only nine years old. They had met a couple of months ago when Elizabeth had snuck out of the castle to see what it was like- an idea she'd gotten from about ten different fairy tale books. It just seemed to be the Princess thing to do- and they had hit it off immediately. Gosalyn was an orphan and didn't have any real home, so Elizabeth had introduced the girl to her parents, and they had given her a permanent room in the castle. Elizabeth liked Gosalyn, because she had a great sense of humor and lots of spirit, and she made things interesting. She wasn't sure why Gosalyn liked her; probably because she was, after all, royalty. "Do you think it's the right thing to do, Gosalyn?" she asked her friend.

"I dunno, but go for it anyway! You can't just sit around at home for the rest of your life, or your head will burst. It's true!" she said when Elizabeth started laughing. "It's a scientifically proven fact!"

"Anything that scientists 'prove' these days is definitely debatable," said Elizabeth, still chuckling.

"Lady Elizabeth?" said a young guard as he entered the room.

Elizabeth stood up. "Mike!" Aside from Gosalyn, Mike was her only friend. He winked at her. In public, they were generally formal, but when alone together they were quite casual.

"The king and queen will see you now," he said.

"Thank you," she replied, and adopted her "Princess attitude"- improving her posture to the point where a lamppost would be envious. "Can you imagine," she said softly to Gosalyn as she walked regally towards the throne room, "having to set up an appointment to see my own parents. I might as well be one of those common moochers who comes here and asks for money for my scammy 'cause'."

"No, I _can't_ imagine," said Gosalyn, a little heavily. Elizabeth winced; Gosalyn was still a little sensitive that she had no parents. What made it worse was that Elizabeth had been adopted herself, and her good fortune was sometimes a painful if inadvertant reminder of Gos's own situation.

"Sorry," mumbled Elizabeth inanely. She reached the heavy iron doors to the throne room, and had to lean on them to open them. "Your Majesties," she greeted her parents, kneeling as she approached. Next to her, Gosalyn bowed as well. "Gos! You're not allowed in here! Wait outside!" hissed Elizabeth through the corner of her mouth.

"Get crucial, Beth! You know you need me for moral support!" retorted Gosalyn. Elizabeth didn't answer, just faced her down with her best long, slightly haughty look. "_Fine_," she said as she left in a huff. She was so intent on making an impressive exit that she managed to make the doors swing open and closed several times after her. Elizabeth couldn't help wondering how she had made them do that.

"Good morning, daughter," said Herb regally. "You may rise." Elizabeth arose as formally as she had entered.

"I'm afraid I may have some shocking news, sire," said Princess Elizabeth, the epitome of respect. "The time has come for me to tell you the truth..." She paused, and cleared her throat. The king and queen looked at each other nervously, and then leaned forward. After a significant dramatic pause, Elizabeth continued: "I'm not your real daughter. I was adopted."

The King and Queen were both shocked, as Elizabeth had known they would be. They were fair rulers, but at times they were disturbingly scatterbrained; while she had grown up knowing full well that she had been adopted, several years ago she had realized that they had no memory whatsoever of this occurrence. Apparently neither had deemed it important enough to remember. "Well, it _does_ explain why we don't have any baby pictures of you," said Binkie slowly.

"If I may be so bold, Mother, pictures are an anachronism anyway," said Elizabeth.

Her parents, who were confused enough already, barely managed, "What?"

"Well, you see, photographs haven't been invented yet... Oh, never mind. Anyway, I know that news came as a shock to you. But what I need to tell you is that, well, I've reached a point in my life where I'm no longer satisfied with what I have here. I need to go out and find myself, and see what the world holds! I know there must be more to life than just sitting around the castle learning archery and needlepoint and fencing and painting and martial arts rhythmic gymnastics! I mean, it's all well and good, but I have to have a little variety!"

Binkie looked at her husband. "Should we bring in a teacher who can tell her what adventure is like, dear?"

"An excellent idea, Binkums!" Herb clapped his hands, signaling a young duck standing in the corner. "Page boy! Find a teacher who can come in immediately and teach the Princess about adventure!" The page boy started to leave.

Elizabeth gritted her teeth. "_No_! Father, that's not what I'm saying! I'm not looking for more lessons, I want to _leave_! I have to set out and travel the land...There's _something_ out there for me, and I'm going to find it, no matter what it takes! Do you understand?" she said.

Her parents looked at one another again, and came to a mutual agreement. "All right, daughter... Or, ah, non-daughter... Girl of no relation to me. You may leave the castle and find what you need to find," said King Herb.

Elizabeth's face lit up. "Oh! Thank you, Father! Thank you, Mother!" She remembered to bow formally to each before running to hug them exuberantly.

King Herb held his arms out to her, and then seemed to be distracted by his right hand. Elizabeth sighed and stopped, knowing what was coming. Herb stared at a small red piece of thread that was tied to his finger, and then his face lit up in recognition. "Oh, yeah!" he said happily, pleased at remembering this important piece of information. "Just don't go gettin' married."

This ridiculous order never ceased to grate on Elizabeth's nerves- not because she had any desire to be wed, but because she wasn't the least bit pleased over being told what to do. "You _know_ I won't, Father," she said, a little tensely. Her father held his arms out to her again, and she obediently went to him and gave him a hug and a kiss.

She had just done the same for her mother when Mike entered, dragging Gosalyn by her shirt collar. "Sire, this rugrat was eavesdropping," he said.

"So were you!!" Gosalyn shot back angrily. "Lemme go!" As soon as he set her on the ground, she spun around and attacked his left shin. "There are easier ways to get in here, y'know," she said to him. Elizabeth sighed and covered her eyes with her hand.

Mike, despite his obvious pain, blushed lightly. "I-If it please your Majesties... I think it may befit the Princess if she had an escort of some kind?" At this Elizabeth's eyes went wide, and she blushed too.

The King considered it momentarily. "An excellent idea!" he announced. Mike beamed, and Elizabeth simply stood, speechless. The King pointed at Gosalyn. "You!" Mike's face fell.

"_Me_?" asked Gosalyn.

"Elizabeth, to be sure that you are responsible and live up to our expectations, you shall be responsible for this girl," said Herb. "Whatever her name is."

"Gosalyn! Gosalyn Waddlemeyer!" cried Gosalyn, mildly offended that the King _still_ couldn't remember her name. She mumbled, "Geez, I've only been in here like a hundred times..."

Elizabeth found her voice first. "But-- but Your Majesty, this is a quest to find myself! How can I find myself if I'm watching a nine-year-old?"

"Right!" said Mike. "Don't you think maybe she needs someone more like a... a bodyguard?"

Herb smiled graciously. "I have spoken." Both the Princess and Mike looked shaken. Gosalyn, on the other hand, looked extremely excited.

Elizabeth glared at Mike, obviously resenting his implication of her weakness. "I do _not_ need a bodyguard," she said, and stormed out of the room. Mike and Gosalyn followed her closely. "I don't believe this," she muttered to herself on the way out. "There is just _no_ arguing with him..." She had to shove herself into the doors in order to get them open.

Mike shrugged; this decision made about as much sense as anything else the King decreed. It was a bummer, though. "It wasn't what I meant to have happen, you know," he said slowly.

Elizabeth, still fired up over the "bodyguard" comment, whirled on him. "Then what _did_ you mean?"

"I..." he paused. "I just thought that it would be lonely here without you."

She stopped, and slowly smiled. "I'll come back, you know. And when I do, you'll be the head guard here, like you always dreamed." They laughed, and shared a smile.

"Hey!" said Gosalyn. "I'm still here, you know."

Mike gave the girl a look, briefly, and then turned back to the Princess. "I'd better get back to my post. Have a good time, Elizabeth."

"I'll miss you, Mike," she said quietly as he walked off. "Maybe this was a bad idea after all," she muttered.

"Oh, don't worry," said Gosalyn cheerfully, "we'll have lots of fun! We'll bond!"

"Just what I always wanted," said Elizabeth. She didn't sound too enthusiastic.

* * *

Santa Canardia was home to a pub of notorious fame; described by the larger part of the population as "a wretched hive of scum and villainy", Mo's Place lay near the edge of the town and was frequented only by a small percentage of the villagers. The rest of the customers were often smugglers who were stopping in to get a drink, gamble, or on occasion, close a deal. 

Eisley, which was directly across the street from Mo's Place, had no such reputation. As a result, it was much more popular with the villagers.

Eisley was run by a smart, level-headed duck named Terry. The majority of her savings had been invested in the pub, and it hadn't gone to waste; on most days, the pub was packed by midafternoon. Today was an exception, however, since most of the kingdom seemed to be busy outside, giving a huge send-off to Princess Elizabeth. Terry chose to skip the celebration, and stayed inside to tidy the pub up. As she polished the glasses, she reflected on how overdone the whole event was; wasn't it calling attention to the fact that the Princess was going to be alone, and vulnerable, in the countryside? But then again, these days it seemed that very few royal decrees made much sense. Besides, they wouldn't listen to her if she were to speak up, so there was very little point in her trying. Instead, she stayed inside the pub, waiting for someone interesting to come in. That was the thing about Eisley- there was always _someone_ interesting coming in.

As if on cue, the door opened, and one of her oldest friends entered. "Drake!" she called, using his secret name in order to not call attention to him. "And Bo!" She was extremely pleased to see that the panda had come along; each time she spoke with him, she liked him more. He smiled and waved at her. Drake, cloaked in a long hood and robe, glanced around furtively, and then said, "Is anyone else in here?"

She gave him a bemused smile. "No. They'll be in soon, I think. The Modal Nodes are playing tonight, and they usually bring in the crowds. I'd give this parade thing another good hour, though."

Drake relaxed somewhat, and lowered his hood. "The usual, Terry," he said, and gave her a worn-out smile.

"You too, Bo?" she asked.

"Sure! Thanks." Terry mixed up the usual orders- coffee, very strong for Drake and with a chocolate flavor to Bo's- and then leaned down on the counter of the bar to talk.

Drake looked pensive, as he always did when he was considering something. "What's going on out there, anyway?"

"They're giving the Princess a going-away party. From what I saw of her, she didn't look too happy about it, but apparently she's setting out on her own. I guess the Royal parents wouldn't let her get away with any less."

Bo scratched his head, just behind his ear. "It looks like the whole Royal Guard is out there."

Terry sniffed. "Oh, I don't know, it's probably more like about half. I heard that Elizabeth isn't letting any guards or anything go with her, so--"

"Hm," Drake murmured, and looked even more pensive.

"Oh," said Terry. "Oh, I know that look. Darkwing, don't you even _start_-"

Drake looked up at her and gave her a wicked grin. "You know better than to call me that in public, Terry," he said.

"If you got caught-"

Drake stood up and pulled his hood back over his head. "I won't." His tone was completely confident, and Terry knew that he believed it completely.

Bo caught Terry's eye. Terry took advantage of the opportunity. "Talk some sense into him, Bo! This isn't just a _coach_ or something, this is the _castle_!"

Bo smiled. "You've been trying to talk sense into him for years now, Terry, and it hasn't worked. What makes you think I'd have any more luck?" He took her hand and held it for a moment, still smiling softly, no trace of fear in his face. He was just like his boss. He _loved_ his work, though less for the adventure and more for the end results- the helping, the giving to the poor. Yet he wouldn't refuse the looting or the danger when it was offered, either.

Terry gave up. She'd been through this too many times to know to try differently. "Be careful," she said to Bo, softly. "Both of you," she added.

"Dont worry," said Darkwing Duck, stepping back slightly and lifting his chin. "I'm the Prince of Thieves!" And with that, he left Eisley Pub. Each time he left, Terry was never sure he'd be back.


	2. Act II

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act II

The two castle guards on duty in the East wing were bored. Almost everyone else got to go to this celebration for the Princess, and they were stuck guarding a wing of the castle that no one was even in. They couldn't even talk to each other, because to speak while on duty was against the rules of the Royal Palace Guardsmen Association. However, to busy oneself with small games was _not_ explicitly stated as against the rules, and so one was ensconsed in a crossword puzzle while the other tried to perfect his yoyo tricks.

Neither noticed a dull "thud" from behind them; neither paid any notice to the hissing sound that began to softly permeate the hall, since both were so secure in the knowledge that no one would bother coming into this wing of the castle during this kind of celebration.

The guard with the yoyo looked up and sniffed the air, then eyed his companion warily. He contemplated mentioning the smell, but before he could really get around to breaking the rules outright, his vision began to blur. He vaguely saw the other guard stagger and drop the crossword puzzle; and then he himself lost consciousness and fell to the ground.

For several moments, there was no movement, as the knockout gas dispersed through the window. Then a pair of hands crept over the window sill, and a head rose to follow. After determining that the coast was indeed clear, Darkwing Duck pulled himself up to the window completely and climbed in. "Come on up, Bo," he hissed.

"Roger," replied another whisper, and the panda climbed in after Darkwing.

Darkwing looked around. "Okay, Avi staked out the plans of this wing of the castle pretty thoroughly. You know where to hit, right?" Bo nodded quickly. "Great. Meet me back here at 1400, right?"

"Right."

The two thieves split up. Darkwing was amazed at how little security was left in this part of the castle, and suddenly remembered why. This wing was where the Princess lived, and with her being seen off, there was no need to guard the area very heavily. This couldn't have worked better if he'd planned it this way. Hm... Actually, it made more sense to think that he _had_ planned it- he must have unconsciously realized that security would be light here, and chosen this wing without thinking about it. Ah, what a genius he was- even when he wasn't thinking about it!

He found the Princess's room, and tried the doorknob. Locked. No big surprise. He reached into his cape and pulled out a long object, like a knife, and pushed it into the door crack. A bit of maneuvering did the trick and the door swung open. "The key to anywhere I want to go," he mumbled, replacing the tool in his cape pocket.

* * *

Mike left the ceremony early, in a funk. He'd realized midway through that this was just a pathetic excuse to have a party. And since he and Elizabeth didn't socialize in public, there was little point in having him around. He climbed the stairs to the east tower slowly, contemplating things. Now, he was loyal to the King, of course- deeply loyal. But despite believing that the King's rule was ultimate and correct, he really had to admit... the man was a _moron_! Er, sometimes. Did he really think that Elizabeth would survive on her own? Was he even going to be worried? Oh, it just felt worse and worse. 

He remembered Elizabeth's fervent protest that she didn't need a bodyguard. Well... Okay, so in a sense, that was true. In a big sense. Mike had taught her to fight, at first. She was... well, _good_! She had a great advantage, too, in that _no one_ would expect the prim and proper Princess to be able to kick the crud out of them. But she also had a _major_ weakness: her tendency to drop her guard too quickly. That was how he beat her most of the time- by faking exhaustion and catching her off-guard. And no matter how many times he reminded her, "STAY ALERT"- she never seemed to remember. Despite everything- her mind, her upbringing, _everything_- Elizabeth was still so naive sometimes. Well... all the time.

Mike let out a heavy sigh as he walked down the hallway, and stopped short. The two guards that had been on duty were lying in an undignified heap on the floor. Mike became alert instantly, and suddenly was thankful that Elizabeth had left already so that she wouldn't be threatened by this. He considered checking the other areas in the tower to see if anyone was there; he dismissed it as taking too long. At this hour of the day, and while the Royal family was outside, whoever was here surely would be no more than a thief.

He braced himself and pressed against a wall, then slid along it slowly, trying to make as little noise as possible. After a moment's pause, he headed for the Princess's room.

* * *

Darkwing sank into the corner of the Princess's room as he heard a footstep in the hallway outside. He palmed another gas pellet just in case, and waited. 

Whoever was outside was good- moving very slowly, steadily. Most people wouldn't have heard him. Darkwing Duck wasn't most people, though. He'd trained himself to hear bugs moving, which got very tiresome while he was trying to sleep, but it sure came in handy at moments like this. From the steadiness of the footsteps, Darkwing was certain that it was only one person outside the room... However, there could be more within signaling distance. He liked these odds. Smiling faintly, he waited.

* * *

Mike held his breath. Someone was definitely in the Princess's room; the door was ajar. He had the most eerie feeling that the someone was waiting for him, too. How convenient that _all_ the senior guards should be at the ceremony just now, he thought. He reconsidered going for help, but to reach anyone else would take time that he might not have. He decided to take the risk. Slowly, he put a hand to the hilt of his sword, took a deep breath, and settled himself. 

Then he moved as quickly as he could, drawing his sword, flinging the door open the rest of the way, lunging out with his weapon, and catching air. A movement in the shadows revealed the intruder's presence. Mike yelled and thrust his sword out again, hitting perhaps the spot where the figure had been a moment ago, but no solid person.

"Too slow," said a voice behind him, and he whirled to see a duck standing before him. Nothing formidable, just a duck in a mask and a cape. The duck's hand moved, and something exploded on the ground, filling the room with a cloud of some kind. Probably the same kind of gas that had been used on Cavin and Shark. Mike covered his mouth with his collar, and stabbed the sword into the cloud that was spreading where the duck had been standing. He discovered too late that the duck had jumped and grabbed the canopy on the top of the Princess's bed. Mike narrowly avoided a kick to the head.

He had a solid fix on the intruder's position now, although the room was too dark for him to get a good look at his features. That didn't really matter, though. He planned a move for any direction that the duck might jump in, and prepared to lunge again, but then there was a pain on his head, something breaking, something that wasn't supposed to break, and it was him, and he fell...

* * *

"Well, that was anti-climactic," said Darkwing as the young duck guard slumped to the ground, surrounded by shards from a vase. 

Bo shrugged and tossed away the remains of the vase. "Whatever works," he said, gathering up his prizes. Darkwing did the same.

"Next time, we hit the west tower, got me?" said Darkwing as they left for their camp.

In the background, fanfare swelled as the Princess finally departed from the kingdom of Santa Canardia.

* * *

Later that same day, Elizabeth and Gosalyn had ridden more than ten miles on horseback. "I gotta take a rest. My butt is _killing_ me!" announced Gosalyn as they entered a clearing in the forest. She slid off the back of her horse. "What time is it, anyway?" 

"Approximately... two hours until sunset," said Elizabeth, looking at the shadows around them. She slid off her horse as well. "We might as well camp here."

"Uh, why don't you just use a watch?" asked Gosalyn.

"Can't. That's an anachronism," Elizabeth replied, stretching her arms above her head. "Ah... that's better," she said to herself, as she lowered her arms after a really satisfying body stretch.

"Oh. Right," said Gosalyn, who had never even heard of such a thing as an anachronism. She decided not to take out her own watch so that Elizabeth wouldn't start to get crabby about weird stuff again. "Anyway, why do we have to camp? Why can't we just go to an inn or something? Or will that make Anna mad too?"

"What?" said Elizabeth, an edge of a laugh in her voice. "Who's Anna?"

"You know, the watch thing... You said it would tick Anna off or something."

"Anachronism?" repeated Elizabeth, the laugh in her voice very distinct now.

"Maybe," said Gosalyn hesitantly, realizing that the word didn't sound anything like "Anna-cross-ism," the word that she thought Elizabeth had used.

"Hee hee. You're cute," said Elizabeth, not bothering to explain what exactly anachronism meant. "Well, we're spending the night out here because I'm trying to figure out who I am and what I want out of life."

"You couldn't do that in a normal bed?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "You're the one who wanted to come along."

"Your father made me!" cried Gosalyn. "Aw, come on!" she yelled, not realizing that she was attracting some unwanted attention from a pair of mysterious eyes in the forest. Neither of the two young women realized that they were, at that moment, being spied on by an evil, evil person... A person with brains so frazzled he could barely process the information that he was witnessing... A person called Megavolt!

"Wow! It's the Prime Minister's daughter!" he called back to the other figures near him. A spark shot up from the big electrical plug he wore on his head. It was something he was proud to have come up with to help keep his electrical currents under control... And it was so darn fashionable, too.

"No kidding? Is she the one who juggles?" said another lunatic, coming over to look. He wore the costume of a court jester, although he wasn't one. "I love that kid! I saw her on 'Star Search'!"

"There is no Prime Minister here!" said a third horseduck. "Jeez, Quackerjack, sometimes I wonder who's nuttier, you or Megavolt!"

"No Prime Minister, huh?" said Megavolt, and pointed to Elizabeth. "Then who's _that_, Bushroot?"

"Hey! That's the king's daughter!" exclaimed Bushroot, and signaled to the Liquidator to come and look.

"How much would you expect to get paid for this Princess? Five thousand gold pieces? Ten thousand?" asked the Liquidator. "Act now and we could get the whole kingdom!"

"He's right!" said Megavolt. "Negaduck will _love_ us!"

"Does this mean she doesn't juggle?" asked Quackerjack.

"Let's get her. But first, we'll send a message to Negaduck," said Bushroot. He gestured, and a large Venus Fly-Trap came to his side. "Okay, Spike, tell Negaduck that we've captured Princess Elizabeth, and..."

"Are you nuts? Negaduck can't understand your dumb plant!" said Quackerjack. "We'll have to send Mr. Banana Brain to tell him instead!" Megavolt, Bushroot, and the Liquidator groaned as Quackerjack pulled the doll from behind his back. "Tell Negaduck we're taking the Prime Minister's daughter hostage, Mr. Banana Brain, got it?" He then answered himself in the high-pitched voice he had designated for his "sidekick": "Easy as pie, Sly!"

"Quackerjack..." Bushroot attempted to interrupt him. Quackerjack gave no sign of hearing.

"All right! Go for it!" He set the doll down on the ground. It just lay there. Quackerjack looked irate. "This is _no time_ for a nap!!!"

"Settle down, pal," said Megavolt. "We can always write Negaduck a message!"

"Of course! Perfect! We'll write him a message!" Bushroot agreed.

The Liquidator nodded. "I concur!" Quackerjack simply muttered something to himself about "lazybones", apparently tuning the others out.

Megavolt paused, evidently at a loss. "Um... Anyone got any paper?" The grins that the other two had been wearing disappeared, and they slumped disappointedly. Megavolt waited several moments before saying irritatedly, "I _said_, 'Anyone got any paper?' Geez, are you all _deaf_?"

"We heard you!" snapped Bushroot. "_No_, we don't have any!"

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" muttered Megavolt. "Guess we're stuck now..."

"Never say die! When times seem darkest, the Liquidator keeps going and going!" said the Liquidator proudly from behind them. He was holding up a large stone, and grinning at them. "Why not try rocks? They're fun, affordable, and they're a great flat surface!"

Bushroot and Megavolt looked at each other, and then at Quackerjack, who was trying to get Mr. Banana Brain to stand up. They looked at each other again, and shrugged. "Can't hurt," said Megavolt. "We'll write on a rock." He singed the message onto the stone's surface with his finger, and then handed it to Bushroot.

"Looks good," said Bushroot. He gave it to Spike. "There ya go, boy. You know what to do."

"Well, I don't think he's going to go," said Quackerjack disgustedly, pointing at Mr. Banana Brain. "So let's just go get the hostage!"

* * *

Gosalyn reached into her bag and pulled out a little package that had food in it. "Want some bacon?" she offered Elizabeth as she started chowing down. 

"Oh, no, I don't eat pork."

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"No, I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't like... swine, that's all," said Elizabeth.

"Why not?"

"Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals."

Gosalyn grinned, and said teasingly, "Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good."

"Pork chops are an anachronism, dear. And you're not going to change my mind." Elizabeth was pretty set, and didn't even bother to look up from the needlepoint piece she was dutifully working on through force of habit.

"What the heck is an anachronism, anyway?!" Gosalyn burst out.

"Oh-- you don't know? I'm sorry, I should have guessed after the 'Anna-cross' thing," said Elizabeth, and started giggling gently to herself. Gosalyn glared at her, and she stopped. "Sorry. An anachronism is..." She searched for a term that a nine-year-old would understand. "Basically, it's something that doesn't belong in this time. It's usually not used in everyday speech, more like a fictional work or something."

"Then why do you keep saying it?" asked Gosalyn.

"Uh... you know, I'm not sure!" said Elizabeth, puzzled. She thought it over, then shrugged. "Oh, it probably doesn't matter."

"So, what do you think you're going to do now?" asked Gosalyn offhandedly.

"I don't know. I was thinking I might want to be a ninja!" replied Elizabeth, staring off into space, a far-off look in her eyes.

Gosalyn looked at her friend. Elizabeth was thin and, aside from fairly well-developed shoulder muscles from her fencing lessons, she had very little muscle tone. In fact, she looked very wholesome. "A ninja?" repeated Gosalyn. "Uh...no."

"Don't move!" cried out a man's voice with a strange edge to it. Elizabeth and Gosalyn looked up in shock to see four really weird-looking men on horseback approaching them. The horses themselves were... well, almost as strange as their riders. Two of them were normal, but one was made of metal, and the fourth of... water?

"Is the circus in town?" asked Elizabeth, utterly perplexed.

"Quiet, you!" said a duck wearing a fool's outfit. "You're our prisoners now!"

"Thanks for the information update," said Gosalyn sarcastically.

"Prisoners? Are you _forcing_ us to go see the circus?" asked Elizabeth.

"They're not from the circus, Beth!" said Gosalyn.

"Oh."

"Darn right!" said the rider on the metal horse. He was a rat, wearing what looked to be a very strange hat. "I'm Megavolt, he's the Liquidator, he's Bushroot, and he's Quackerjack." With each name, he pointed to a different one of the strange men he was with. "We're the Fearsome Five!" The four suddenly grouped together and grinned widely.

"There are only four of you," said Elizabeth, counting on her fingers just to be sure.

No one in the group really seemed to know what to say to this. Megavolt looked at the other three, confused. He counted, too, under his breath.

"Well... so what?" asked Bushroot uncomfortably.

"So, technically, you're the Fearsome _Four_. Why do you call yourselves the Fearsome Five if there are only four of you?"

"Why do you need to know?" asked the one called Liquidator. His name was appropriate, as he seemed to be made up entirely out of water. His "horse", at a closer look, was an extension of his body.

"Why are we called that again?" asked Megavolt blankly.

"Uh-oh, someone needs to jump-start him again," sighed Bushroot, rolling his eyes. The Liquidator flicked a small drop of water onto Megavolt's head, and a loud "zap!" filled the air as he convulsed momentarily.

"Thanks, I needed that," he said after he'd regained what little there was of his mental cohesion.

"Enough talking, let's start play-time!" cried Quackerjack, and he leapt off of his horse towards Elizabeth.

"I don't think you know who I am," said Elizabeth forcefully. "I am Princess Elizabeth Muddlefoot, daughter of--"

"Great! That's what we thought!" said Quackerjack, and he tossed a sack over her head and tied it.

Instantly she realized that she'd made the same stupid mistake she always made back when she'd sparred with Mike: she'd let her guard down. She threw a punch out in front of her, and felt no small satisfaction when her fist connected solidly with something, and the person in front of her yelped in pain. But the satisfaction was short-lived, as her arms were then grabbed and tied behind her. She tried to wrench free of her captor's grip, but lost her balance easily and fell to her knees.

Still free, and grossly underestimated, Gosalyn took the opportunity to start kicking some serious shins. "Yeowch!" screamed Megavolt, and this was then echoed by Bushroot and Quackerjack. She had a slight problem, however, with the Liquidator. "Uh-oh," she said as her foot passed harmlessly through him. He solidified his fist and knocked her out.

Elizabeth was confused. Was Gosalyn all right or not? For a moment, she wished Mike were there, despite her confidence in not needing a bodyguard.

"You're not going anywhere, Five!" shouted a voice from some distance away. Or at least, it sounded like it was from a distance to Elizabeth. It may have been because of the sack. In any case, the voice was not from a member of the Fearsome Four, that was for certain.

All she heard for the next few moments was the sounds of a fight. She certainly hoped that the people who were yelling loudly for their mommies were the Fearsome Four- although who knew what harm these new people might intend? Elizabeth started to feel very stupid about being so useless. Hopefully, though, no one was watching her during this, in which case she might be able to escape. She started pulling at the bonds that were tying her arms back, but to very little effect.

After a while, the shouts died down and stopped. Elizabeth had lost track of who was winning, and she didn't know if it mattered anyway. All that mattered to her was getting away... and especially getting this ridiculous sack off her head. All of a sudden she was lifted onto someone's shoulders, and then slung over a horse. "Put me down, _now_, or you'll regret it!" she yelled, but got no answer.

"Don't forget the girl," instructed a voice. At least that meant that Gosalyn was probably okay... And that they were taking her with them. Still, this was not treatment that befit a princess. Angered, she kicked and yelled as much as possible, and made sure that the ride to wherever she was being taken was as unpleasant for the rider as it was for her.

Some time later, she was set down and the sack was taken off of her head. She was aware that she looked wretched, but figured that there were more important things to worry about. Looking around slowly, she saw that she was in some sort of tent. Gosalyn was lying next to her, still unconscious. She looked up and saw two men, apparently guards, standing in front of her. Neither one had been in the Fearsome Four (she just couldn't bring herself to use the numerically incorrect "Five")-- they both looked normal. But still, neither one looked especially friendly, and they both seemed content to merely sit and watch Elizabeth and Gosalyn be prisoners. Elizabeth was not used to such a treatment; after all, she was royalty. There was no way that she was going to stand for this... or sit for it, either.

One of the men was staring at her. She turned and glared at him, and he smiled at her and waved. "How's it hangin'?" he asked in a soft-toned voice that was mildly friendly, but totally lacking in intelligence. Elizabeth hoped that he was "the stupid one", and that they weren't both like this, or else she'd never be able to communicate with them. "I'm Ted. He's Harry."

Ignoring the introduction, she sighed and tried to target her word choice to her audience. "Are you good guys or bad guys?" she asked slowly. Apparently not simply enough, however, as an expression of confusion spread over Ted's face.

"Huh?" He scratched his head. His companion, Harry, offered no comment but simply watched with his arms crossed across his chest.

"Oh, for Heaven's sake. What are you?" persisted Elizabeth. "Thieves, murderers, scoundrels, heroes, what?"

"Um... Thieves?" managed Ted. He looked at his companion, who nodded slowly.

"Hmph. I should have known, in a rat's hole like this. I pray you," she said, with as much sarcasm as she could muster, "to be so kind as to bring your illustrious leader in here _right now_!" Somehow that hadn't sounded right. She had never been very good at sarcasm. Oh, well. After glancing at Gosalyn, she added worriedly, "And make sure that my friend is all right."

"Uh..." Ted looked uncertainly at Harry. Harry offered no council this time, just scratched his head softly and then crossed his arms again.

Harry blinked as he looked at the Princess calmly. She stared back at him, waiting, and grew more frustrated as the moments passed and he didn't do anything. She decided to count to ten before yelling again, and just as she had reached nine-and-a-half, he said, "Welp... Leader's out now." He extended each word in one of the most exaggerated drawls she had ever heard.

Elizabeth nearly exploded. "Well, get me _someone_!" she snapped.

Harry was again silent for an extended period of time, staring at the Princess with the same disinterested expression. "We kin get ya th' boss's right-hand man," he drawled after an eternity.

"Whatever! That's fine!" cried Elizabeth. Why on earth was this taking so long!? Didn't they know she was the _Princess_?? She shouldn't have to repeat herself _once_, let alone this many times!

Harry pulled the toothpick out of his mouth, looked at it, and tossed it onto the ground. Then he took his other hand out of his pocket and cracked his knuckles. Finally he turned to the other guard and drawled, "Y'think I oughta go fetch McQuack?"

"Uh... well, she seems like she'd get kinda upset if ya didn't...," said Ted slowly. He looked at the Princess, who was glaring at them intensely. She didn't look quite fearsome, but Ted somehow registered that she was displeased. "Yeah, for her sake, you should. I think her head's gonna blow up soon, or something."

"BLOW UP?!" shouted Elizabeth.

Ted looked alarmed. "See, I think it's starting! Go, quick!" Harry sighed, put his hands in his pockets, pulled out a new toothpick, put it in his mouth, put his hands in his pockets again, and set off.

"McQuack oughta be here any time," said Ted, and scratched his head again.

"McQuack, hm? I suppose that's the only name he's known by? Typical name for a thief. Gritty, mysterious-"

"Um. Actually, that's just his last name. His first name is Launchpad."

"Oh. Of course," said Elizabeth, trying not to blush.


	3. Act III

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act III

Meanwhile, Launchpad McQuack's interest had been captured. "Princess Elizabeth Muddlefoot? Here?!?" If the Princess looked the same now as she had a couple of years ago, she was _cute_! And she had asked to see him! "How come you're holding her like a prisoner?" he asked.

"Welp," said Harry, as he rolled the toothpick lazily in his mouth. "We sorta picked her up from the Fearsome Five, and she was kickin' like a wildcat. We just thought it was a good idea to make sure that she couldn't do anyone no more harm."

"Really?" asked Launchpad. That didn't sound very... "princessy" of her. She was probably just traumatized, though. "Well, we'll have to untie her right away," he said, on his way out the door. He paused to let Harry catch up. "She's very delicate, y'know." That was something he didn't know for sure, but he could take a guess. After all, she had people waiting on her hand and foot; something like being attacked by thieves was sure to upset her. He liked that about her, though. Er, not that she'd be upset, but her delicate nature.

Harry, meanwhile, wondered over this sudden concern. "You sweet on her?" he asked.

Launchpad flinched. "Huh? No!" he said quickly. "Just worried. I mean, uh... She could get us in trouble with her parents." He picked up the pace a little, leaving Harry to fall behind.

* * *

Meanwhile, again, Elizabeth had been able to convince Ted to untie her hands. Gosalyn had revived, although she was still unsteady, and Elizabeth was discussing a plan with her. "See, when he comes in here, I'll jump him and you tie him up. Then we'll hold him hostage until they let us go home," she said eagerly. 

"But they untied you. They don't really seem to be holding us prisoner," said Gosalyn.

"You're just confused," said Elizabeth, completely confident. "This operation is a thieves' circle! Of course they're holding us for ransom! It's what circles of thieves _do_!"

"Oh," managed Gosalyn. She felt as though her brain was dancing Swan Lake at triple speed; she'd never been so dizzy before. She shook her head to try to clear it.

"Uh... Here they come," said Ted, standing by the tent flap. He obviously hadn't heard a word- in fact he stood away from the door a bit, allowing Elizabeth a clear shot at Launchpad as he walked in.

"Ready?" asked Elizabeth with an excited edge to her voice. Gosalyn nodded groggily.

The tent flap opened, and Launchpad walked in. Elizabeth paused. He didn't look like a thief. In fact, he was... rather handsome.

Launchpad paused as soon as he came in. Wow... the Princess had actually gotten _prettier_ since he'd last seen her. He grinned; she was staring at him. She must like him. He winked. She started, and looked faintly indignant for a moment, and then smiled at him sweetly. The smile was amazing- it lit up her whole face. "I'm Launchpad McQuack," he said, stepping forward.

"I am Princess Elizabeth Muddlefoot, daughter of Herbert Muddlefoot, Ruler of St. Canardia." She seemed awfully coherent for someone who was head over heels in love, he thought... As soon as she got within reach, Elizabeth wound up and hit him in his stomach as hard as she could. He doubled over with an "Oof!" and she shouted, "Now, Gos!"

"Now what?" asked Gosalyn confusedly. She didn't make a move. "Did you just hit him? Gee, Beth, he doesn't seem like a bad guy to me!"

Elizabeth nearly screamed in frustration. Instead she just rolled her eyes. "Oh well that's just _great_." Unable to think of anything else to do, she sat on Launchpad's back to keep him from getting to his feet. "Who are you and why have you taken us prisoner?" she asked in what she hoped was an intimidating tone of voice.

If Launchpad had been able to answer, he might have told her that they had rescued her from ruthless outlaws, that they were trying to keep her safe, and that they had no intention of holding her prisoner. Under the circumstances, though, the best he could manage was a feeble groan.

"A likely story!" said Elizabeth, rather haughtily. He sounded like he was in pain. Good! she thought. Served him right for winking at her. Who did he think she _was_, anyway?! "So, you think you're gonna get a ransom? Huh?? Is _that_ it?!"

"Well, a reward woulda been pretty non-heinous," said Ted, still standing behind them. The idea of helping Launchpad didn't seem to occur to him. Harry was also watching the events unfold, his expression calmly indifferent.

"See?!" cried Elizabeth triumphantly. "You talk or I hurt you," she threatened Launchpad, flopping on his back.

"No- ya don't get it!" he protested weakly. This had all happened so fast, he had no idea what to do. He had an idea to just roll around and knock her off his back, but that probably would have hurt her... And it certainly wouldn't have improved her attitude any.

"Yeah, right. How dumb do I look?" said Elizabeth in an accusatory tone.

The tent flap opened again, and Darkwing Duck walked in. "Well, loyal bandits, I have returned!" he said dramatically. "And I really cleaned up this time-" He stopped, noticing Elizabeth. "Who are you?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously. "And why are you sitting on my right-hand man? Or do I want to know?"

Launchpad, who had propped himself up on his elbow, spoke up. "Ya don't wanna know."

Elizabeth seemed to be having some trouble speaking. She glanced down at Launchpad quickly, and then at Darkwing, and tried to say something. Nothing came out, so she closed her mouth again.

Gosalyn, on the other hand, needed no time to prepare anything to say. "Darkwing Duck! The Prince of Thieves!" she cried.

Darkwing grinned and took a bow. "At your service, kiddo."

Gosalyn ran up to him, apparently quite recovered all of a sudden from her blow to the head. "_Wow_! They tell all kinds of stories about you back at home! Cool _beans_!"

Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Darkwing...? _The_ Darkwing Duck? I... I thought you were just a story! My parents always told me-"

Darkwing snorted. "I don't know where your parents get their ideas, or how they can just ignore my legendary adventures, but I'm real. So's Launchpad, as you noticed."

The Princess appeared to be preparing a reply about how Darkwing obviously didn't realize just _who_ her parents were, but just then she started and realized that she was still seated on Launchpad's back. She stared down at him. He looked back at her evenly, his expression unreadable, and then said, "Nice to meet you too, Princess." She frowned at him and stood up.

"'Princess'?" said Darkwing, going through the bag of valuables he had just relieved the Muddlefoots of. He chuckled a little. "I didn't think you were the type to use pet names, LP." He stood up, holding out a few items of jewelry. "Look, the villagers will be able to pay taxes for _months_ just from this necklace!" He displayed a diamond necklace proudly. "And this is just the tip of the iceberg! Wait a minute- 'Princess' who??" He suddenly seemed to recognize Elizabeth somehow. Maybe because she was glaring daggers at him as he dangled the necklace in front of her.

"This- is- _mine_," she growled as she snatched it from him.

* * *

"Ah, Negaduck...sir?" said Megavolt, as he limped into the dim light of Negaduck's quarters. Megavolt was the only one, sane or insane, with the guts to approach Negaduck with bad news. Not that he did it bravely; actually he viewed it as an opportunity to divert as much blame onto his teammates as he could. But none of the others cared to even try to explain things, and so the task fell to Megavolt time and again. 

"Yes?" said their leader, only a menacing outline in the dark room.

"The-- the Princess got away," began Megavolt.

Before he could zip through the usual circumstances and excuses, Negaduck interrupted him in a calm voice. "And how did that happen?"

"Ooh, I hate it when he's calm!" whispered Bushroot to the Liquidator. The Liquidator nodded nervously. Quackerjack stood next to them, humming to himself. He didn't have the coherence to be afraid of Negaduck half of the time.

"Well, we were grabbing her, and suddenly Darkwing Duck's gang intercepted us," said Megavolt. He was fully prepared to relate how the brat had been kicking shins, and had taken out both Quackerjack and Bushroot in an instant (he had no plans of revealing his own incapacitation), but once again, Negaduck reacted before he was able to cover his rear, coming to life with the terrifying suddeness of a volcanic eruption.

"DARKWING DUCK?!" he roared, his eyes aglow with rage. "I _hate_ Darkwing Duck! He's always ruining my plans! That's it! This time I'm going to take care of him once and for all. And you're going to get that princess for ransom, too."

"But we don't know where they aaaaaare," whined Quackerjack. Bushroot, The Liquidator, and Megavolt all looked at him in horror as he said this.

"Then you're going to search the forest until you find them!" yelled Negaduck, very close to Quackerjack's face.

Quackerjack cringed. "Yes, boss," he said, cowering in fear.

The others breathed a sigh of relief. Quackerjack had diverted their psychopathic leader's rage onto himself, and they were spared for the moment.

"I'm _not_ letting that duck slip through my fingers again," vowed Negaduck, his eyes in evil slits.


	4. Act III and a half

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act III 1/2

"Darkwing Duck! Wow! I've heard all _kinds_ of stories about you!" said Gosalyn, completely in awe. Across the campfire from her, Elizabeth crossed her arms and sighed. You'd sure never know that Gosalyn was supposed to be _her_ friend right about now. "You and your band of merry men, robbing from the rich and giving to the poor..."

"No, you're thinking of that other guy," said Darkwing matter-of-factly. "I mean, most of it still stands, of course, but my band of men isn't merry... We're more jolly. And we don't rob... We take loans from the financially stable and then redistribute the broad-based wealth to the indigents and destitute." He lowered his voice and leaned in close to her. "Don't want to get into the trademark territory there, you know," he whispered. Gosalyn looked confused, but Elizabeth nodded knowingly.

"So," said Gosalyn, "is that story about you single-handedly defeating fifty men true?"

"Huh?" said Darkwing. "Oh, uh... It sure is!" He leaned close to Launchpad. "That's a new one," he whispered. "I like it!" He turned back to Gosalyn, unable to resist the temptation of an eager and willing audience to which he could relate his glory. "Why, I remember it like it was yesterday, 50 of the biggest, toughest, meanest thugs in all the kingdom..."

Launchpad had been nursing his sore stomach for the two hours or so since Elizabeth had hit him. He stole a glance at her, and wasn't surprised to see that she was frowning. Boy, had she ever turned out different from his expectations. She seemed to feel his eyes on her, and looked up to meet his gaze. She looked startled for a moment, and then scowled at him and turned away. Somehow this made him feel embarrassed, as if he'd been caught making faces at her or something, and so he turned away as well. It wasn't like he was _enjoying_ looking at her, anyway. She just had a way of making him feel as though he were insignificant, and that made him feel weird around her. Too bad though- she _was_ cute. He stretched his arms out, behind his head. "Hey, DW, it's gettin' dark. What should we do with the girls?" He looked in Elizabeth's direction in time to catch her eyes widen. Sheesh, _now_ what had he said?

Elizabeth turned her coldest glare towards Launchpad, but he had already looked away from her. Typical male chauvanist, she thought- to refer to all women as "girls". She hadn't been a girl in more than five years, and she found the implication to be stupendously insulting. She opened her mouth to yell at him, but just then Darkwing spoke up.

"Wellll... We don't have any extra tents, but you and I can probably each set up an extra bedroll in our tents, LP. We've got room."

Elizabeth finally got to speak then. Her voice sounded strained. "This is intolerable, completely intolerable. I would like to go back to my home, please."

"Beth, I thought you wanted adventure!" said Gosalyn. Elizabeth looked pained, but said nothing.

"Too much adventure for the Princess, Beth?" asked Launchpad. Once he said it he realized that it had come out a bit sharper than he'd meant it. He didn't especially like her, but that wasn't really a reason to pick on her. He shot her a grin in the hopes that it would improve her mood- but from her expression, it only made it worse.

Elizabeth's posture improved as she drew in a breath. _Cute grin or no, Mr. McQuack, no one talks to me like that!_ she thought. "_Eliza_beth. _Princess_ Elizabeth. _You_ may call me 'your Highness'."

Darkwing appeared to be thinking. "It's... too dangerous to take you back now," he said finally.

The Princess sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Each one of you can sleep in one of our tents."

"Gos, didn't you want to go to that hotel...?" Elizabeth looked at Gosalyn almost pleadingly, but the girl's attention was elsewhere.

"Nah, this is _way_ cooler!"

Elizabeth turned to see Launchpad grinning at her again, and her stomach did a backflip. _I am NOT taking the chance of sleeping within twenty MILES of him, let alone the same tent!_ she thought.

"Don't worry, Your Worship," he said, his expression unreadable to her, "I'll be a perfect gentleman." Was he joking, or not? Did he really intend to...?

Determined not to let on how unsettled she was by him, she replied calmly, "Mr. McQuack, I'm surprised you know the meaning of the word." That got the grin off of his face. _Infuriating man!_ she thought. "Why can't one of you sleep somewhere else, and give us a tent?" she asked, indicating Darkwing and Launchpad.

Launchpad answered. "'Cause they're _our_ tents. Why shouldn't we get to sleep in them?"

She shook her head. "It's inappropriate for us to sleep in the same tents as grown men!"

Looking insulted, Launchpad said, "Hey, I wouldn't try anythin'!" He turned to Darkwing. "Hey, DW, tell her..." he began, and stopped. Darkwing was looking thoughtful again, and Launchpad didn't think he liked the look this time.

* * *

Elizabeth and Gosalyn looked around Launchpad's tent. "You can have the hammock," said Elizabeth. 

Gosalyn didn't argue. She didn't even seem to hear, in fact; instead, she held up a pair of boxer shorts with little hearts on them. "Hey, look at these!" she said, laughing.

Elizabeth looked up, and then blushed and covered her eyes. "Gosalyn! Please!" Gosalyn, still giggling, apologized. She kept laughing and muttering about the hearts for a while, until Elizabeth spoke to her hesitantly. "Gos... do you... like it here?"

"And _how_!" said Gosalyn enthusiastically. For some reason, it didn't seem to be what Elizabeth wanted to hear. "Why? Don't you? I thought you said you wanted adventure!"

"It's too..." Elizabeth paused, apparently looking for the right words. "Oh, Gosalyn, it's just too much, too quick! I've never been through anything like this in my life! I thought it was what I wanted, but I was wrong! Don't you miss home just a _little_?"

Gosalyn tried to put herself into Elizabeth's shoes, and couldn't. "Well... No! No, I don't. Sorry."

The Princess sighed. "Gosalyn...?" she said softly. "Do you want to stay here after I leave?"

"Um..." It was a question that Gosalyn hadn't even considered. Now that she had been asked it, though, she didn't know what to answer. She _didn't_ want to leave, she knew that. Not in the least. But Beth was her friend, and she didn't want to leave that friendship behind, either. "I don't know," she said truthfully. Elizabeth looked sad, and lay down among the blankets she had spread on the ground.

Gosalyn lay down, too, unable to think of anything reassuring to say. Beneath all the Princess attitude, this was what Elizabeth really was: timid, sensitive, and rather lonely. Having had only two friends her whole life, she had somehow drawn the conclusion that the only thing that people really liked about her was the fact that she was a Princess. That wasn't true in Gosalyn's case at all; she liked Beth because, from the start, she had treated her like a person, not like a little kid. Of course, since the Princess was a genius, this meant that sometimes they had discussions that went over Gosalyn's head. But that was okay, because at least it showed that Elizabeth never assumed that she wouldn't get it.

It wasn't that she liked Darkwing more than she liked Elizabeth; she just looked up to him. She wanted to know more about him. Maybe, when he was younger, he'd been like she was now! Maybe when she was older, _she_ could be the leader of the thieves. She couldn't supress a smile at the thought. And even now... Darkwing was _so cool_. And after all, she didn't have any real family...

Elizabeth spoke suddenly, very softly, but all she said was "Good night, Gos."

Gosalyn shut her eyes. "G'night, Beth." She hoped things would work out in the morning.

Elizabeth stared at the ceiling of the tent for a long time. To think that she'd been so enthusiastic about this before! What a _stupid_ idea! Everything was so wrong... She shut her eyes, and an image of Launchpad McQuack came to her mind unbidden. Her eye snapped open again. Launchpad... that _jerk_!

Okay, so maybe he had a right to be a little angry. After all, she had hit him in the stomach as hard as she could, and thanks to her training, that was pretty hard. But he didn't have to be so... So _mean_ about it! She saw the looks he kept giving her- usually just the tail ends of them, but that was enough. He didn't look like a mean guy; that was the part she hated the most. He probably was really nice to everyone except her, because everyone else didn't hit him in the stomach when they first met him. Maybe she could apologize- No, no reason to. Tomorrow she'd leave and never see him again, and that was a _good_ thing. So she didn't have to figure out how to apologize, or worry about whether he'd glare at her and tell her not to bother or something horrible like that. Not that anyone had ever done that to her. She was just always afraid that they would.

Not that Launchpad would understand. Hmph. That _jerk_. She wished he weren't so handsome, it made her nervous. Having a handsome man watching her all the time... it wasn't fair.

She fell asleep.

* * *

The ground in Darkwing's tent was really uncomfortable. This wasn't fair. Launchpad glanced at Darkwing, who looked quite comfortable in his own hammock, and sighed. He shouldn't blame the Princess... After all, once he thought about it, he could understand her reluctance at sleeping in the same tent as a man. The idea of... anything happening, however, had been so far from Launchpad's mind that it had taken him a while to even realize what she was afraid of. "DW, what are we gonna do with 'em tomorrow?" he asked. 

Darkwing spoke with his eyes closed. "I have a plan, LP."

"Really? Hey, cool!" DW's plans were always great. "What is it?"

"We'll ransom the Princess."

"Um..." Despite his semi-dislike for Elizabeth, Launchpad had a few misgivings. After all, even though they were thieves, they stole to help poor people, not to cause trouble. They'd never _hurt_ anyone before.

Darkwing seemed to read his mind. "Don't worry, LP, we're not actually going to hold her hostage. We'll just keep her with us for a while, until the King pays, and she'll never even know!"

"Oh!" Now he got it. _This_ was the kind of sneaky, clever plan that Darkwing was famous for. It was what had convinced Launchpad to join the group, after all.

"You see? It's perfect! Have I ever been wrong?" Darkwing reveled in his own greatness for a moment or two, and then continued. "Now, a few things. For one thing, we can use the attack by the Fearsome Five to our advantage; we'll tell Elizabeth that the Five are still looking for her, and we're her only chance for protection. Second, the girl- Gosalyn..." Darkwing trailed off. Launchpad waited patiently for him to start talking again, and shortly, he did. "Well, I guess it's too dangerous for her to get involved."

Launchpad asked, "Involved with what?"

"I was thinking... she might get a kick out of knowing about this. But she's too young. I don't know what I was thinking." He sighed, almost wistfully, but quietly.

Launchpad thought this over. "Sounds good t'me..."

"Oh, yeah. You're in love with the Princess."

Launchpad sat up quickly, blushing. "Huh?! _Me_?" Well, sure, she was cute and all, but he sure as heck didn't _love_ her! He barely even liked her! In fact, he wasn't sure he liked her at all, although he sort of wanted to. But that was only because he wanted to like everyone, not because...

Darkwing interrupted his thoughts. "No, I mean for the plan. Just play up to her, keep her off-balance."

"Oh. Okay," said Launchpad, before he even thought about what he was getting himself into. Play up to her!? As in, "be nice"? Spend time with her? Oh, great. He was not what could be described as adept at subterfuge- plotting against people wasn't his forte. There was no way he could pretend to like her if he didn't! But she couldn't be all bad. Besides, DW hardly ever came up with a bad plan, so there was no reason to argue.

Darkwing outlined a bit more of what he had planned, before Launchpad started falling asleep. They agreed to discuss it more in the morning.


	5. Act IV

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act IV

Princess Elizabeth stormed across the campsite, her face a mask of strained diplomacy. Gosalyn followed her closely, not the least bit intimidated by the Princess's business-like manner.

"But I don't want to go home!" Gosalyn persisted. "Can't we stay just _one_ more day?"

Elizabeth answered, "No, I want to _leave_, and I want to leave _now_." She reached Darkwing's tent and walked right in. "Forgive my intrusion," she began politely, "but Gosalyn and I have been waiting all day long to be returned to our kingdom, as you promised us that you would. Now, if you are unable to do so, I can understand that. Simply loan us some horses, and we'll be on our way ourselves, no bother to anyone."

Darkwing sounded surprised. "Oh... did you want to go home?"

The expression on Elizabeth's face was, in its own way, classic. She couldn't speak for a good thirty seconds, during which time Gosalyn piped up, "_I_ don't want to go home..."

"If... If I somehow failed to make myself clear last night, my apologies are in order," said Elizabeth finally. "But yes, I want to go home. Will you _please_ oblige me that one request? You needn't worry about your reward," she said, a hint of distaste creeping into her voice. "If money is all that you love, then that's what you'll receive."

Darkwing turned to Launchpad, looking genuinely surprised this time. Launchpad shrugged. Darkwing asked, "How much?"

Having found a bargaining chip, Elizabeth decided to use it. "A thousand," she said. That had to be enough. How many poor people were there around here, after all?

Launchpad poked Darkwing on the shoulder. "You gonna take it?" he asked quietly.

Darkwing turned around and whispered to Launchpad. The Princess sighed impatiently. "I don't think so. We can get a lot more than a thousand for ransom."

"Yeah... But maybe she'll go higher if ya ask!"

"Maybe, but this way is more befitting a legendary thief. I mean, we _do_ have a reputation to uphold, after all." He grinned sheepishly. "Besides, I sent the ransom note out to the King already." They turned back to the Princess. "Well, I'd love to take that offer, your Highness, but it'd just be too dangerous!"

She looked completely perplexed. "...Too... Dangerous?"

"The Fearsome Five don't give up easily, you know. If Negaduck and his gang attacked you once, they're certain to try again! In fact, they're probably out there right now, tearing the forest apart, looking for you. You'd be most vulnerable out there in the woods, with no one around to protect you. As long as you're with us, though, you're safe."

Gosalyn whispered, "Wow..."

Elizabeth seemed a bit more skeptical. The indefinite nature of this arrangement bothered her. Darkwing seemed to be implying that, if the Fearsome Five never got around to attacking, then he would never let her leave. The idea might have had its merits for Gosalyn, but she found it deeply disturbing. She probed at Darkwing's interpretation of the situation a little, trying to see exactly how far he could stretch this. "So you're saying that the Fearsome 'Five' is after me. And that if I leave the safety of one band of thieves I'll get taken by another."

Launchpad grinned at her. "Well, they're not as nice as we are." He winked. She looked uncomfortable, and frowned.

"Exactly," said Darkwing. "They're not nice in the least. They're prone to torture, in fact... I can't tell you how many valuable men I've lost to Negaduck and his thumb hangings." He let that thought- which he had made up on the spot- hang in the air for a moment. Gosalyn seemed suitably impressed, but Elizabeth still didn't look convinced.

"Well, who's Negaduck? He wasn't with the Fearsome Four... ah, Five... when they attacked us," asked Elizabeth. It dawned on her that if there was a fifth member, that was probably why they called themselves the Fearsome _Five_. The possibility of another member hadn't occurred to her, and she was suddenly a little embarrassed.

"Oh, he's the leader of the Fearsome Five. By themselves, Megavolt, Bushroot, Quackerjack, and the Liquidator are all pretty dangerous enemies," said Launchpad.

"Well, to someone less experienced, maybe, but to Darkwing Duck, they're all less than important. Worthy. Almost. Almost worthy... foes, that's a good word... on their own," interjected Darkwing.

"Right!" said Launchpad, as if he had suddenly been reminded of what a great guy Darkwing was. "Anyway, by themselves they're almost worthy. But then Negaduck suggested that they band together so that they could get rid of DW and take over Santa Canardia. And since there were five of them, they called themselves..."

"The Fearsome Five. Yeah, I kinda guessed," said Elizabeth, with a touch of impatience. "But my question was, 'Who is Negaduck?' And why haven't I heard of the Five before this? I've lived in Santa Canardia all my life!"

Darkwing fielded this question. "You haven't heard of them because _I've_ done such a great job of keeping them from conquering your kingdom. I've kept the Fearsome Five at bay so effectively that the inhabitants have never even realized that they were in danger! As for who Negaduck is, well, he's the only one of the Five who's really given me trouble. I hate to admit it, but he's a genius. No one else could get those lunatics to work together the way he did, and even though I've been able to fend them off each time they've attacked Santa Canardia, I've never actually permanently defeated them. Negaduck and I are almost at matching intellects. Fortunately, I'm still a bit ahead of him in terms of smarts."

Elizabeth sighed loudly. "Do you really expect me to believe--"

A member of Darkwing's band rushed in. "Sir! I just got news. The Fearsome Five is on the lookout for our hideout!"

"Hey! Great! Ah, I mean- Now that we know, they don't have much of an advantage over us! Thank you."

"My pleasure, sir." The thief saluted and left.

Elizabeth said, quietly, "Do you _promise_ to take me home soon?"

Darkwing nodded. "Right after we defeat the Fearsome Five." It dawned on him that this was too soon, though. He needed a way to extend the time before they defeated the Five. "Ah, but we can't risk you getting hurt while you're here. Why don't we just go to the secret hideout?"

"That could work," said Launchpad, considering.

"Of course it could."

Elizabeth thought of something. "Excuse me, but why is it safer to take us to this hideout than it is to take me home?"

There was a pause, which surprised her. Eventually Darkwing sputtered, "W-well, the hideout is _secret_, and... Your castle... isn't?"

"Don't worry about it, Beth, I'll be lookin' over ya the whole way," said Launchpad. Elizabeth flushed and stopped speaking. Launchpad was momentarily surprised by her reaction- hadn't she ever been protected by someone before? He thought back to Darkwing's order earlier, to pretend to be interested in her in order to keep her off-guard. Whatever he'd just said, it seemed to be doing the job pretty nicely.

Darkwing was grateful for the diversion, as well as to Launchpad for remembering his part in this plot. "We can leave behind a few of the men to throw the Five off our trail. Get the girls some blindfolds, and we'll get going."

"The girls?!" exclaimed Elizabeth, even more offended this time than she'd been at the first usage of that term, just as Gosalyn cried out, "Blindfolds?!"

"Yes, blindfolds. If you saw how to get there, it wouldn't be a secret hideout anymore, would it?" said Darkwing. Gosalyn took the implied cue and quit arguing.

* * *

Less than a half an hour later, the Fearsome Five (Four) had tracked down the camp where Darkwing's men had been staying. Enraged to find no trace of either Darkwing or the Princess, they began trashing the camp grounds and then moved on to interrogate the remaining men.

"You must know where he went!" accused Bushroot spitefully to the two guards the Four were interrogating. Harry looked at them through half-lidded eyes and said nothing.

"Sorry, dudes, but it's like they disappeared off the face of the earth!" said Ted. His hair fell into his face, blocking his eyes. His hands had been tied behind his back, so he blew upward to get the hair out of his eyes. It lifted upward quickly, but as soon as he stopped blowing, it drifted back downward and blinded him again.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," taunted Quackerjack.

"In a blind taste test, most of Darkwing's gang said that he had a hideout!" said the Liquidator. "Is it behind door number one, door number two, or door number three?"

"Hideout? Someone gave you bogus info, dudes. I never heard of any hideout," said Ted. He was trying his best, but what that evil dude with the bells on had said was true- he sucked at lying. If Harry would just go through with his part of the plan, then the Five would go on and leave them alone... but was being as quiet as ever. Bogus. He glanced over at Harry, who had somehow managed to get a toothpick into his mouth with his hands tied behind his back. Harry looked straight ahead, not worried in the slightest. Ted, on the other hand, was getting really worried. Someone could get hurt if they didn't act soon.

"Hey, this is a great opportunity," said Megavolt, chuckling. "If you continue not to tell us anything useful, I can let off all that extra energy I've had building up for so long!" He grinned, and began to glow faintly. Ted gulped, but remained silent.

"Welp," piped up Harry suddenly. "I reckon I kin tell ya where they wandered off to."

Ted was so relieved that he broke into a huge grin. Harry was going to do his job after all! Excellent! Harry looked back at him soberly, and Ted remembered that he wasn't supposed to let on that this was a trick. He tried to look as serious as possible.

"What?! How come you didn't say anything up until now?" asked Megavolt.

"Y'didn't ask me," said Harry. He chewed on his toothpick silently, watching the Four as they grew more and more antsy.

"Well? Where are they?" asked Bushroot.

"Welp, since y'asked," said Harry. He spoke slowly, as usual, and paused to spit out the toothpick before continuing. "The secret hangout is a big ol' tree that ain't got no innards. It's out in the middle o' the forest. Find that tree, an' you'll catch up with 'em right well, I reckon."

The faces of the Fearsome Four lit up eagerly. "What tree is it?" asked Bushroot.

"I forget," replied Harry. Ted grinned again.

"Who cares? We got 'em! How many trees can there be in this forest?" cried Quackerjack enthusiastically, flipping about the tent. "Let's get going!"

A little doubtfully, the others followed, getting headaches as they thought of the amount of trees that could be hollow.

"Thanks, man, you saved my butt," said Ted to Harry as soon as the Fearsome Four were gone.

"Yep."

* * *

"I just can't believe that _this_ is your hideout!" exclaimed Elizabeth incredulously as she looked around the inside of the building. It wasn't just a building; it was a castle. Literally. Just the hall, which they were currently standing in, was enormous. Darkwing led the other three through the dim interior, while Launchpad fielded Elizabeth's incessant questions.

"Why on _earth_ do you hide out in a castle?" she asked.

"Well, we found it, it was empty, and no one expects it from thieves," answered Launchpad. He chuckled. For some reason, Elizabeth sniffed and turned her head away from him.

"_You_ found it, LP," Darkwing corrected him. "Launchpad found it on his own, and suggested we sort of co-opt it," he explained to Gosalyn and Elizabeth.

"Wow," said Gosalyn, her eyes trained on Darkwing. "A real secret hideout." Darkwing half-expected her to start taking notes on what he was saying, she was listening so intently.

"Yep, it ain't much, but we call it home," replied Darkwing casually, as if he had found the castle himself.

"Not much?! It's huge! Well, for a summer castle, anyway. That's what this is. It's too small to be a part of the main castle, and much too far removed. I wonder why my parents don't use it anymore?"

Launchpad was impressed; this was the first time he'd really heard her talk without having her guard _way_ up. "Who says it belongs to your parents?" he asked, grinning. Elizabeth's expression became confused. Launchpad opened a door. "Here's the kitchen."

It was surprisingly small and simple, with the typical stove, counter, and other kitchen type things. The only other furnishing was a sturdy wooden table in the middle of the room. Apparently this room served as the dining room, too. "I can have some soup fixed up in about ten minutes... Got a match, DW?" he asked.

"A match... Now, I'm pretty sure that's an anachronism, although I can't really be sure...," mumbled Elizabeth to herself.

Gosalyn rolled her eyes and shrugged as Darkwing and Launchpad looked at her questioningly. Darkwing reached into his pocket and gave Launchpad a book of matches, and after a minute or so of fumbling with them, he got the stove lit.

"You cook?" asked Elizabeth, startled.

"Yeah. I like to," replied Launchpad good-humoredly.

"Oh." Elizabeth wondered why she found this to be so... startling. It just didn't fit with her impression of him- rough, uncouth, rude. Not mean, just... thoughtless. After all, he wasn't acting angry towards her at all for her 'introduction' to him, but his behavior still made her nervous. Was this his form of revenge? She did feel bad about hitting him, but... She couldn't find a way to apologize, because she knew what he'd think if she brought it up now. If he got mad and yelled at her, she could have a reason to dislike him and argue with him. Even if he politely told her it was okay, and then avoided her for awhile that still would be okay. But no- if she brought it up now, he would think she was... interested. It was too late, the time had passed. _That... jerk,_ she thought, still unable to find a better word.

Darkwing noticed the slightly vacant expression on Elizabeth's face, and turned to Gosalyn. "Anyone home in there?"

Gosalyn shook her head. "Not right now. If she gets like this you kinda have to wait for her to snap out of it. When you wake her up she gets sort of disoriented. Hey, Darkwing, how old were you when you started feeling like an adventurer?"

"Oh, I don't know, about nine or ten, I guess-" he stopped, noticing that her face had lit up at that. "O-of course, I was about fifteen by the time I acted on it!" Her face fell.

"Oh," she said simply. He wondered which was worse, upsetting her by keeping her out of the team, or risking her life by letting her in?

"Soup's on!" announced Launchpad, filling a bowl and setting it in front of Elizabeth. "Hope you don't mind ham."

Elizabeth jumped slightly, color coming to her cheeks, and she seemed to take a moment to remember where she was. Then she said stiffly, "I don't eat ham."

Launchpad set a bowl in front of Gosalyn, and offered one to Darkwing, who passed. "Is that a Princess thing?" he asked. Elizabeth's face hardened, and she picked up a spoon, never breaking eye contact with Launchpad.

The soup wasn't great. In fact, it was far from it. Gosalyn swallowed a spoonful, and tears came to her eyes. She gagged and spit what she could out onto a napkin, and then wiped it over her tongue to get rid of the taste. She looked at Elizabeth and was startled to see that the Princess had drained most of the bowl already.

"How can you eat this?" Gosalyn whispered.

"Queen Binkie liked to cook meals for us. You get used to it," she answered. She slammed the spoon down. "Done," she announced.

"Glad ya liked it!" said Launchpad. Elizabeth let out an irritated breath and turned away from him.

* * *

Bushroot groaned and sagged against a tree. The tree obligingly lowered its limb as a seat, and Bushroot sat down and rested. "You guys, we've been looking for so long already!" he whined. "I don't think the stupid tree is here--" His sentence ended abruptly as the tree withdrew its limbs out from under him and he landed heavily on the ground. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean you!"

Megavolt walked over and yanked Bushroot to his feet. "Hey, this is the only lead we've got, and we've gotta _use_ it! Negaduck will _murder_ us if we don't!"

The Liquidator poked his head out of a hole in a tree. "93 of the people in our 'Man-on-the-Street survey' preferred life to dealing with Negaduck!"

Bushroot slumped again. "Yeah, but we've been at this for two days already! And no sign of 'em! Don't you think maybe..."

"I think maybe you're just goin' soft, Twiggy!" Megavolt poked his fellow villain in his chest.

Bushroot slapped his hand away. "I am _not_... _Sparky_."

Almost as vindication of Bushroot's proclamation, Megavolt sparked at this. "Don't _call_ me that--!"

"Ooh! Fight!" said Quackerjack, and ran over to observe them. "My money's on Bushroot."

The Liquidator looked around at all the trees in the area warily. "No bet," he said.

Mr. Banana Brain spoke up. "I'll lay odds to that!"

"You're on!" cried Quackerjack challengingly.

Apparently not realizing his advantage, Bushroot backed off. "Hey, look, what we _really_ ought to be doing right now is finding that Princess!"

"Methinks the plant has a point," said the Liquidator.

"Yeah, for once Twiggy's not _just_ being a fraidy-cat!" Quackerjack laughed.

Bushroot mumbled, "I'm not a fraidy-cat..." as the other three began to search deeper into the forest. He kicked dejectedly at a rock, and followed them.

* * *

Elizabeth stood on the balcony outside the room she slept in and watched the sun come up. She had done this for the past two mornings, since she found sleeping difficult in such an unfamiliar place. She still hoped to go home any day now, but that hope simply wasn't paying off. It was like in three days, her life had turned upside down, and everyone was able to follow it but her.

Launchpad was jogging. This was something that he did every morning, and Elizabeth had discovered that she had a pretty good view of his route from her balcony. She was impressed. He was in very good shape. Darkwing had some sort of strange workout that he did at breakfast, but he didn't wake up until after 10 am. Gosalyn was begging him to let her try, but Elizabeth wasn't especially interested in it. Of course, she didn't watch Launchpad for any reason other than boredom. He was still a jerk, after all.

Nothing had really changed between them. He still made her nervous- in fact, he seemed to go out of his way to accomplish this. Did he realize that his behavior was so unnerving to her? Was this his revenge of some sort? Or was she supposed to like it? Because she didn't. Not really. Not at all, even.

She sighed and headed back inside her room. He probably thought she was a snob. If he wasn't being overtly... "friendly", he was making some kind of Princess crack, and that made her feel horrible. Okay, so she was sheltered. So she wasn't used to the life of a thief. She didn't mean to come across as a snob! It just... happened sometimes. Especially when she was talking to him. It was her only protection, it seemed. She wondered if everyone thought this about her- that she felt she was better than they were. It wasn't true, not at all. She wished she _did_ feel superior, to _anyone_, just once. If only she could make Launchpad understand that...

Oh, why was she thinking about this? Launchpad's opinion of her barely mattered in the long run, because soon she'd be away from here and never have to think of him again.

Except every day, it seemed less and less likely that she'd ever get to leave.

* * *

Launchpad was still working on perfecting coffee. Since he was always up before Darkwing, he tended to busy himself making breakfast, although Darkwing insisted that he only wanted coffee in the morning. Not that Launchpad minded this; it meant more for him. But he had yet to make a really good cup of coffee, and it was becoming something of a contest for him. Darkwing never mentioned whether he liked it or not, but Launchpad watched his facial expression, and there was always something... missing from it, it seemed.

"Here ya go, DW! New blend!" he said cheerfully.

Darkwing eyed the mug warily before picking it up and sipping at it tentatively. Deeming it worthy, he relaxed a little and took a big gulp. Launchpad watched him. Still not perfect, but at least Darkwing wasn't spitting it out anymore. He grinned. "So, any news yet from the King?"

Darkwing set the mug down and held a finger to his bill in a shushing manner. "Not so loud! They could be around here anywhere!" He looked around carefully and then spoke in cautious tones. "Still no word. I don't get it. I sent that messenger out three days ago! Nobody can take that long!"

* * *

Terry looked up as someone entered her pub. A young male duck with dark hair and an angry look marched up to her and demanded, "Where is the Muddlefoot's castle!?"

"You again?" asked Terry. She would have recognized him from Darkwing's band of thieves even if he hadn't been in the pub for directions four times already. "Look, for the last time, all you have to do is go out, turn left, then go straight for about three streets. Then you turn right, and... Honestly, I don't see how you can miss it! It's a _castle_, after all!"

The man blinked. "It's not my fault! It seems like the more I go towards it, the farther away it gets!" He straightened his broad shoulders and lifted his chin. "Today, I will get there. Today! I _swear_ it!" With that, he ran out of the store, and turned right instead of left. Terry wasn't sure, but she had a feeling he'd done that every time he'd been in here.


	6. Act V

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act V

The hours at the castle ticked by. Gosalyn had explored the entire building at least five times in the past few days, and had grown weary of it by now. Elizabeth, who had no interest in exploring anything at all, had simply settled into a form of bored misery. By lunch time the two ladies had wandered into the kitchen with Darkwing and Launchpad, mulling over still more ham soup. It seemed to be the only thing Launchpad knew how to make.

"Well," began Darkwing, breaking the dull silence as he stood and stretched his arms above his head. "Lunch was, ah, great as usual, LP, but I think I'm going to go on a walk to clear my head."

"Gonna work later, DW?" asked Launchpad as he finished his soup.

"Yeah, a little later, I think I'll go out and see what I can do in terms of funding for the needy. And of course, I'll be keeping an eye out for the Fearsome Five."

"Can I come?" asked Gosalyn, eagerly jumping up from her seat.

"No, I don't think so," answered Darkwing, a little hesitantly. "Negaduck's gang is out there, and we don't want to risk you getting captured by them."

Gosalyn wasn't convinced. "But what about you? Who'll protect you? I can help!"

"I don't need help. I'm Darkwing Duck, you know, I'm sort of good at that kind of thing..."

"Well, then, you can protect me!" she said stubbornly. He sighed, at a loss as to what to say.

"Stop pestering Darkwing, Gos," said Elizabeth, sensing the awkwardness. She didn't want Gosalyn to leave her alone with Launchpad, anyway. "You can spend time with me. I thought we were going to 'bond'."

"Oh, well, she's not actually pestering me," said Darkwing hesitantly. "She's just, you know, sort of..." He trailed off, looking for a better synonym for "enthusiastic".

"A burden," sighed Gosalyn, disappointed. She hung her head.

"We'll come up with something else to do," said Elizabeth reassuringly.

Launchpad felt sorry for the kid. "Yeah," he chimed in, "something'll come up! I can show ya around the place again!" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Elizabeth turn and look at him, surprised. Gosalyn just looked bored by the thought.

"You're not coming with me, LP?" asked Darkwing.

"Nah, I can stay here an' watch Gos an' Beth."

Darkwing nodded. "Good idea. I'll be leaving, oh, probably in an hour, if you change your mind."

Gosalyn watched him go, silently. She just kept trying to reach him, but it didn't work. Was she doing something wrong?

Elizabeth took her hand. "Gosalyn, I know it seems like this was sort of harsh, but..."

Gosalyn tuned Beth out and started thinking. She was never one to stay upset for long, and this time was no exception. She'd give it one more shot. After all, she hadn't been able to talk to him yet while no one else was around. Maybe this time he'd finally see how serious she was about the whole thieves thing! Not that she wanted to be a criminal, exactly, just that she wanted to be involved in the adventure. The other option that she could see was being raised the same way as Beth, and she didn't think she could handle that.

She reached a decision just in time to hear Elizabeth say, "So you see, Gosalyn, the rainbow will come shining through. Don't give up the ship!"

"Gee, you're right, Beth," said Gosalyn, all sweetness and light. Elizabeth sometimes got into these mature, "parental" moods, and the only thing to do was wait them out and humor her. "Thanks, it was a fascinating story."

Elizabeth beamed. "Isn't it? And the neatest part is that it really happened."

Launchpad applauded. "Ya sure know how to talk," he said. Elizabeth's face fell instantly- not to glare at him, or even frown in general. She just suddenly looked very... vulnerable. He wondered if he'd struck a nerve without meaning to. "I meant that in a _good_ way," he attempted to explain. She nodded, obviously not believing. Man... the first time that he'd told her something that hadn't been meant as a joke at all, and _now_ she starts to take it personally. He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So, whaddaya wanna do?" he asked, and directed it at Gosalyn.

"Um, I don't know. It's your castle," she said.

"Well, we could look around some more."

Elizabeth's voice was still quite soft as she asked, "What do you say, Gos?"

"Um, heh, no thanks. I've kind of... seen enough of this castle for a while." _Like for my whole life,_ she added silently.

"Where are you going to go?" asked Elizabeth, somewhat suspiciously. At least she didn't sound so upset anymore.

"Geez, I'm not gonna go bother Darkwing! You told me not to," she said, rolling her eyes. Gosalyn had always been good at lying, and this sort of lie was her specialty. "I'm just going to go talk Lee and Nire and some of the other guys."

Elizabeth supressed a twinge of jealousy. Heaven forbid that Gosalyn actually stay here and talk to her... Oh well. Gosalyn _was_ meeting new people, even if they were thieves. All _she_ was doing was sitting in the room she'd been given and waiting to be taken home. She might as well let Gosalyn go; who would it hurt? "Okay," she said. "Just stay out of trouble." Then it hit her that she would be alone with Launchpad, and her stomach flopped uncomfortably.

"Of course! Bye, Launchpad!" said Gosalyn, and was off.

"Wait-" said Elizabeth, a moment too late. She turned to Launchpad, who was watching her with a lazy, slightly amused expression on his face. Something hit her suddenly, and any haughty remark she could have mustered left her. "I... I have to go," she said, feeling utterly defenseless, and darted to her room before he could stop her.

* * *

Gosalyn found Darkwing strolling through the castle's garden. The overgrown shrubs acted as a maze, and it took her a little while to catch up with him. He was staring off into the distance and walking slowly, quite leisurely. She smiled and jogged to catch up with him, then smacked him on his back. "_Hi!_"

"Wha--?" he exclaimed, and jumped about three feet in the air. Then, recognizing her, he snapped, "What are you doing out here? I thought your Princess told you not to bother me!"

Her face fell. "Well, I... Sorry," she said. "I just thought maybe you'd like some company out here. I didn't know you wanted to be alone." She turned to go.

Feeling guilty, he cleared his throat. It was meant as a signal to show that he wanted to say something, but she didn't catch it and kept walking. "Hey-- Gosalyn?" he called after her. She turned around, eyes expectant. He felt like a jerk; she obviously didn't understand why she should keep her distance. Persistant kid... "I, ah... I'm sorry. I just was thinking of something else. I didn't mean to yell."

"Oh," she said. It wasn't what she had wanted to hear, obviously. "That's okay."

He sighed inwardly. Why not... He was with her, he could protect her. "You can stay out here if you want."

At this, her face lit up. "Really?"

"Sure. Just stick with me, and we stay _inside_ the castle grounds. When I go, you go right back inside. And don't be too loud. If Negaduck's gang is hanging around here, loud volume might give us away."

"Loud? Me??" she asked, looking at him with eyes of innocence.

"Neat trick," he said, grinning. "I used to do that look when I was a kid, too. It's not going to work on me now." She grinned, too, evidently glad that he hadn't bought it. "Just promise me you'll keep a lid on it, okay, kiddo?"

"Okay... And my name is Gosalyn, not 'kiddo'," she told him seriously. "Remember that."

"I will," he promised. He liked this kid.

* * *

Launchpad dumped the dishes from lunch into the sink and made his way out onto one of the balconies, not intending to think about much of anything. Against this intent, however, thoughts of the Princess came to his mind instantly. Things were going according to Darkwing's plan just fine, it seemed, whether he meant them to or not. She was always just the slightest bit off-guard whenever he said anything to her, or even looked at her. But her mind couldn't be supressed indefinitely; every now and then she said something so thoughtful and smart that he wondered how she'd come up with it so quickly.

He was really starting to like her, he found. More than like her, in fact. _That_ was not according to plan. He wanted to know her, and really talk to her, not just throw out lines like he'd been doing. She probably thought that this was all there was to him. He hoped it wasn't. He hoped he could make her see that it wasn't.

But not like this, that was for sure. Right now he seemed like a total jerk, probably. There was only one thing to do to keep from driving her away; he'd have to change the way he talked to her, and find some way to make her see that he _liked_ her. He didn't really have the manners that a Princess might like, but he could try and dredge a few things up from memory. And he _would_ try, until he won her over. Because, it dawned on him suddenly, despite everything that had happened between them... She was the woman he wanted. He just hadn't seen it until now.

He stood up from where he'd been leaning on the balcony and decided to go talk to her, and tell her... something. She'd never believe him if he told her how he felt, but he could think of something to say, couldn't he? He turned around and found that she was standing behind him, in the doorway to the castle's interior. Neither spoke for several seconds, and then she cleared her throat and looked away from him, and hesitantly said, "Mr. McQuack- Launchpad... I... I'm sorry I hit you."

He smiled.

* * *

Darkwing and Gosalyn completed a circuit of the garden, and began another. "So," said Darkwing, "you... like it here? You don't mind being here this long?"

"Heck _no_! I think it's way cool here! I _never_ wanna go back to that stuffy ol' castle!" Darkwing found this simultaneously pleasing and unsettling. Gosalyn continued. "Beth's not too happy, though. She wants to be independant an' all, but she's never tried it before. I don't mind being here, though! I mean, I know this is all part of a secret plot." She grinned and laughed.

Hoboy. "How did you find out?!" The words were out before Darkwing even thought about it.

Gosalyn's eyes went wide. "You mean I was _right_?!"

Hoboy. Again. "Uh..."

"Keen _gear_!! So what's the plan? Are you gonna make money off of Beth by touring her from city to city and charging for people to see her?"

"Ah... not quite." He decided to spill the whole story.

Less than five minutes later, Gosalyn had heard everything, and had a ton of questions. "What'll you do if she finds out?"

"Skip town," he half-joked.

"And, so, Launchpad doesn't like her? Or he does?"

"Got me. He's never said anything about her, really, but he hasn't complained about having to watch her yet."

"Good thing if he doesn't. Beth's got this thing where she can't get married."

"Uh... really."

Gosalyn didn't seem to catch Darkwing's confusion, but she continued anyway. "Yeah, it's something her dad said. It's like, if she disobeys him she won't get to be Queen someday."

"...Why? I mean, why this rule?"

"Heck if I know! I don't think it bothers Beth much, though. She's never even talked to a guy, except for this one friend of hers back at the castle. She probably wouldn't know what to do if she did." She made a face. "I know for sure a rule like that wouldn't bother _me_."

Darkwing grinned at her and ruffled her hair. "So, how'd you become Elizabeth's charge, anyway? Do your parents mind that you're out here on your own?"

"I don't have parents," she said softly, looking away.

_Oh, way to ruin the mood,_ Darkwing told himself, gritting his teeth and wincing. "Sorry," he said awkwardly. "So, uh, do you play a lot of sports?"

"You don't have to change the subject," she told him firmly. "I'm sick of people doing that. I want to talk about it. Okay?"

"Okay," he agreed.

So she told him the entire story of her parents' death, and how she had come to live with Elizabeth and eventually had become her official charge. "It's not that big a deal, I guess. I mean, I've gotten used to it lately. But sometimes, I just get lonely, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Sometimes I get lonely, too, even surrounded by my team. It's lonely at the top, to use a cliché," he said thoughtfully.

Gosalyn saw her chance. "Well... I could keep you company, you know, if I were in your group..."

"No!" he said immediately. Her expression changed from hopefulness to hurt, and then to anger.

"Why not?!" she asked.

"I... Look, Gosalyn, I just don't want you getting hurt. It's a dangerous job, one more suited for adults," he explained, not mentioning that he had just been considering the possibility a few moments before. He had just convinced himself that it wasn't a good idea when she asked him.

"That's what all grown-ups say," she muttered.

"When you're older, kiddo - Gosalyn - I promise," he said, smiling gently. She brightened up a bit. Neither took notice of the fact that they had wandered into a section at the end of the castle grounds that was pretty much open fields.

* * *

There was very little forest left for the Fearsome Four to search, but they diligently continued searching all the trees anyway. The Liquidator passed Megavolt, and sighed tiredly. "We just keep going, and going, and going, and going, and--"

Megavolt grimaced. "I'm gonna strangle you if you don't stop that."

"Hey, guys, come here!" shouted Quackerjack suddenly.

The others crowded around Quackerjack expectantly. "Is this it? Did you find it?" they asked, or along those lines.

"It's a really _cool_ bird's nest! I always wanted one of those," he said, taking it out of the tree branch he had found it in. "Hey, little birdies, I'm your momma now!"

"Haven't you nobs found anything yet?" said a low, growling voice behind them. All four jerked around to see Negaduck standing there, watching them with a disgusted look on his face.

"Negaduck! Uh... Hi!" said Bushroot, grabbing the nest from Quackerjack and putting it back in the tree. Quackerjack cried out in protest, and Megavolt elbowed him.

"You pansies weren't sitting around looking at a bird's nest just now, were you?"

"N-no, sir!"

"Who, us?"

"Real villains don't look at birdies!"

"It would be totally impractical!"

"Then why haven't you found anything yet!?" screamed Negaduck.

"Well, do you know how many hollow trees there are in this forest?" asked Megavolt (Quackerjack had learned his lesson, at least this time). A huge ax instantly whizzed past his head, catching the cloth on his shoulder and pinning him to the tree.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK THAT WAY TO ME?!?" Negaduck snarled, his eyes ablaze.

"No... no disrespect meant?" whimpered Megavolt. A small fizzle of electricity passed through the prongs of his helmet.

"Now, you nothings, GET TO WORK! I only keep you around if you do what you're told... And I _DON'T_ like telling you what to do more than once!"

"Yes, sir," the Four said, saluting. They then scattered to get back to what they now figured was a totally pointless search.

Standing at the edge of the forest, searching frantically for the tree that would win Negaduck's favor, Bushroot was startled to see a flash of purple against what should have been an empty field. He looked out to see Darkwing and some little girl, walking around together. "That brat who was with the Princess!" said Bushroot, a grin spreading across his face. Negaduck was sure to reward him for this! He darted back behind one of the trees. "Guys! C'mere!" he hissed to his teammates.

* * *

The King sat up in his throne, awakening suddenly from his mid-afternoon nap to the sounds of a struggle out in the hallway before the throne room. Before he had the chance to ask what was going on, the doors burst open, and a very fit-looking duck wearing a bandanna and a glare that could melt steel walked in. Several guards were trying to hold him back, but they seemed to have no effect.

"Are you King Herb Muddlefoot of Santa Canardia?" asked the young man in a serious, almost challenging tone.

"I am. And who are you?"

"I... I made it..." The youth broke into a huge, slightly goofy grin, although the anger in his face didn't disappear completely either. "I finally made it! After _three days_!" He composed himself. "My name is Ray. I bring a message for you, Sire."

Herb took the paper, and unfolded it. "What does it say, dear?" asked Queen Binkie.

Herb lowered the paper slowly, his expression unreadable. "Elizabeth... She's..." A tone of anger crept into his voice. "She's been kidnapped and is being held for ransom."

"_What_?!" cried the guardsmen.

"The note says that we are to send ten thousand gold pieces back with the messenger boy, and Elizabeth will be returned to us immediately."

Ray snorted. "'Messenger boy' he calls me. Feh."

"If we don't comply, she'll..." Herb trailed off.

Binkie waited fearfully for him to continue. Finally she said, "She'll what?"

"She'll be forced to participate in live jello wrestling at some pub called Mo's." Ray, as well as quite a few of the palace guards, blushed at the implication. "We have no idea how to get in contact with the kidnappers, so we have no choice but to comply with the instructions."

"Excuse me," said Ray, "but now that my job is done, could you give me directions to Smythe's Swordfighting Training Hall? I have some unfinished business there..."

Binkie whispered, "Herb... Couldn't we ask _him_ for directions for finding the kidnappers?"

Herb paused. "I... I suppose we could at that. Boy-"

Ray bristled. "My name is Ray. _Ray_- R-A-Y. Why is that so hard to remember?!"

"Hold your tongue!" cried Herb, full of righteous fury and cheese curls. "I ask you now, where did this message come from?"

"Darkwing Duck, the Prince of Thieves, Sire, like it says on the letter." The young man appeared to be sneering.

"Don't mock me, boy! I meant, how do I find this 'Prince of Thieves'?"

Ray gave him a blank look. "You mean... You want _me_ to give you directions??"

"That's right! None of us are leaving this room until you tell us _exactly_ how to find him!"

Ray laughed nervously as the King and Queen waited, and a dozen guards trained their spears on him.

* * *

"So, what's it like to rob from people?" Gosalyn asked Darkwing eagerly.

"Ah, you know- it's so-so," he answered. "I mean, there are no real winners in this game. Though I have to admit, it's worth it to see the looks on the faces of the villagers when we give them the money. And you know... I get a real kick out of outsmarting the law over and over." He chuckled and Gosalyn laughed with him. "Well, I gotta get going," he said, patting her on the head.

Gosalyn hated that action- it was patronizing. "Go? Where?!" she asked.

"Work. I already said."

"Well... can I come with you?"

Darkwing shook his head. "We've discussed this, Gos. It's too dangerous for you out there right now. If I run into the Fearsome Five, I don't want you to be harmed. You stay here where it's safe, okay? Promise?"

Reluctantly, she promised. "Great," he said, and kissed her on the forehead. As he was walking to his horse, he realized what he had done, and wondered why, exactly. It had just seemed... well, natural.

"Bye," said Gosalyn, watching him leave. At the edge of the forest nearby, five figures were watching him leave, too.


	7. Act VI

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act VI

King Herb Muddlefoot of Santa Canardia tapped his fingers nervously on the arm of his throne. His wife Binkie sat at his side, faithful and silent, offering her support without saying a word. His two sons, Honker and Tank, stood at his side. Tank was poking his finger into Honker's shoulder repeatedly. The younger prince was doing his best to ignore the treatment and maintain a regal appearance.

The King glanced around the room, his gaze always returning to the main doors leading from the castle's main hall into the throne room. Periodically his eyes flicked distrustfully to Ray, the messenger who had been sent by Darkwing Duck's band of thieves to alert the King that they were holding his daughter hostage. Often, when Herb looked at Ray, the young man wasn't even giving him his due respect by returning his gaze, but instead was looking at the ground rather sullenly. When Herb did catch Ray's eyes, Ray simply looked at him almost incomprehendingly, as though he didn't know why the King bore a grudge against him.

Herb grit his teeth and tightened his grip on the arms of his throne. The waiting was becoming unbearable! He feared he might do something rash if it continued much longer.

And then, mercifully, the heavy doors to the throne room opened slowly, and a guard came running in with a package in his hands. He reached the feet of his king and prostrated himself. "Forgive me, your Majesty. I was as quick as I could be," he said humbly, and held the package out to a delighted Herb.

"At last!" cried Herb, beaming. "At last, my Hamburger Hippoburgers! I was beginning to feel weak from hunger!" Briefly wondering why they called it "fast" food, he tore into his meal with all the ferocity of a born ruler. When he was done, he addressed Ray. "I have come to a decision, boy," he said.

"And it's only been twenty minutes," mumbled Ray. "How about that."

"Approach me," commanded the King. Glowering, Ray did so. The guard standing behind him pushed on his shoulder, and Ray reluctantly made a brief bow to the King before crossing his arms and looking as casual as he could. Herb drew himself up regally. "I have decided that you will take the money to your leader."

Everyone in the throne room gasped. Even Ray gaped at him for a moment, before stuttering, "Er- th-thank you, Your Majesty...?"

Mike, one of the castle's Junior Palace Guards stepped forward. "Your Majesty, I want to see Princess Elizabeth returned safely as much as anyone, but I think this decision is a bit rash! Don't you-"

"Do not question my authority, boy!" said Herb. "I have not finished. Darkwing Duck demanded ten thousand gold pieces in exchange for Elizabeth. If that is what he desires, then that is what he shall get. However, the only person here who knows where Darkwing and his band are is this messenger boy, and he claims to be unable to remember exactly how to find them. If such is the case, he will need an escort back to his campgrounds."

Mike understood instantly. Of course! A tail, to find Darkwing's hideout, so that the group could be arrested later! "I'll go," he said, almost before Herb had finished his speech. He _had_ to be the one to make sure that Elizabeth was all right. It was true, he was only a Junior Guard, but he knew he was destined to be much, _much_ more. Please, please, _please_ let the King have seen that...

Ray looked appraisingly at Mike. It was true, his sense of direction was... well, pathetic. An escort wasn't a bad idea. And this guy was just a kid, his own age, maybe even younger. He'd have no defense against the rest of the gang if he tried anything against them. "Okay, sure, I'll accept those terms," he said.

King Herb considered the matter. "Very well, boy. I know you won't fail me. Set off immediately, and return as quickly as you can." Mike nodded eagerly, grabbed Ray's arm, and fairly danced his way out of the throne room. Herb sighed, and looked at Binkie worriedly. "I fear for our daughter," he said. "Who knows what horrible things she's being subjected to?"

* * *

Elizabeth and Launchpad had been standing together, in silence, for nearly five minutes. The Princess was staring out over the side of the balcony, apparently at the scenery, and holding her hands together in front of her body. She seemed to be trying her best to ignore Launchpad, who was periodically turning his head to look at her.

Launchpad had been waiting for her to speak, trusting that she would initiate the conversation. After all, she had come to him, and apologized for the rough start they'd gotten off to. That implied that she wanted to talk, right? But after her apology, which he accepted right away, they'd merely exchanged a few pleasantries and then she'd begun staring out into the distance. He'd assumed she was trying to think of a topic, but after this much time had passed, it finally occured to him that maybe she wasn't going to say anything. He decided that it was up to him, and he cleared his throat. At the sound, she jumped. "Uh, sorry," he mumbled. "Well, Your Worship--"

"Will you _please_ stop calling me that?" she said, rather tensely, not looking away from her fixated spot off the side of the balcony.

Surprised, he softly replied, "Sure, Beth." She flinched, but said nothing in argument. Why did she sound mad at him all of a sudden? He tried to figure out what he might have done wrong, and couldn't. He made another attempt to start a conversation. "So, how come you and Gos were out in the forest by yourselves like that, anyway?"

Her shoulders sagged forward a bit, and she sighed. "Mr. McQuack, I am fully aware it was a foolish thing to do. I don't need you to remind me, thank you."

Launchpad grit his teeth. Well, that was it, wasn't it? For all his attempts at civil conversation, she was still going to be like this. "Okay, what'd I do? Are you gonna tell me, or just keep talking to me like you hate me?"

He could have sworn he heard her gasp softly. A moment later she replied, "I can't believe you have to ask that."

"What???"

She whirled on him, looking angrier than he'd ever seen her. Through clenched teeth she hissed, "Launchpad, I am a _Princess_ and you will treat me with the respect that such a title deserves. Do you understand me?!"

"Hey," he said, momentarily unsure of what to do. Part of him was ready to back down, quail from her anger. And yet another part of him was just as angry as she was. After her apology he'd expected, or at least hoped, that they would have a new beginning. And he was sure he hadn't said anything to set her off this time. "Hey," he repeated, "I treat people the way they treat me, _Princess_. And if you feel like you're gettin' short-changed, maybe you oughta take another look."

"How dare you," she whispered. "You arrogant brute. You haven't made any efforts to treat me well since I got here, since you stuck me in that tent with my hands tied together! Is that something that is expected to inspire gratitude!?"

"Gee, your hands sure didn't seem tied together when you hit me. Or am I remembering that wrong?"

"I- I apologized for that!" If he'd hoped to defuse her anger with that comment, he failed. She only seemed angrier.

"You're sure not makin' it easy to believe that you meant it!"

"Well then, where's _my_ apology? You've been in my face since I got here, making fun of me, of everything I say! I can't help it, I was raised differently from this!"

"Maybe I was trying to be _nice_."

She laughed curtly. "Oh, of course. Nice. Your sense of what is 'nice' is awfully warped!"

He took a deep breath. "Look. Maybe there were a couple of times when I wasn't tryin' so hard to be nice. But I haven't seen you make an effort, and you know what else? I'm tired of this. Believe it or not, Your Worshipfulness, I _have_ tried to be nice, more and more lately, and you just don't seem to wanna see it. So forget it, okay? Forget the whole thing. Y'know, you're lucky you _are_ a princess, 'cause with an attitude like yours you'd never have _any_ friends if ya weren't." As soon as the words were out he regretted them; that was too harsh. Maybe not as harsh as some of the things she'd said, but that was her decision. He shouldn't have said them.

He regretted them even more a second later, when she burst into tears. Not just sniffling or weeping, but huge, wracking sobs. The mask she had been hiding behind a second ago- and suddenly he was sure it _was_ just a mask- disappeared completely before she buried her face in her hands and cried into them.

Launchpad was too surprised to react at all, at first. It was so sudden. His next reaction was to pull out a handkerchief and offer it to her. To his surprise, she took it, and cried into it for several long moments before managing to speak between her sobs. And when she did speak, it surprised him even more.

"Y-you-you're r-right," she stuttered, her voice hoarse. The tears weren't subsiding.

He wondered briefly if he should put an arm around her, to comfort her, and then the words registered. "Right? About what?"

Elizabeth started crying harder. "I-I am a h-horrible person... And I d-don't have any f-f-friends... And I..."

Her words stabbed him. "No!" he said desperately. "No, I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it, Princess, I really didn't."

"Puh-please don't call me that," she said in a small voice. "And don't take back what you said. I-It's t-t-true." Fresh tears started up.

"No it's not! Ya got Gos, don't ya?"

Elizabeth just shook her head over and over. "She's not... She'd r-rather be with D-Darkwing... She only likes me because I- because I'm a P-P-P-" She dissolved into sobbing.

"A Princess?" Launchpad finished softly. Elizabeth nodded some more. "That ain't true! I know that ain't true! If she were here, she'd tell ya, I bet." The Princess didn't respond, just looked at the ground, still clutching the handkerchief. "I shouldn't've said that. I'm sorry."

She shook her head now, and spoke in a wounded voice. "No. I've thought it myself many times."

"That doesn't make it okay for me to say it! And it doesn't make it true."

"I should never have left the castle. I have no friends, Launchpad. It's always been that way."

"Ya got me." He wasn't sure why he said it. It just came out before he really thought on it. Elizabeth looked up at him, shocked. "If... if ya want me, I mean."

A long moment later, she slowly nodded her head. "I'd... like that," she said quietly. "But I... apologize for my treatment of you. And, may I request that you don't make any more ... 'Princess' jokes?"

Launchpad had no idea what she was talking about, so he agreed readily. "Uh, I'm sorry, too, Beth. Um, is it okay for me to call you that?" She nodded wordlessly. "Okay. But, I'm sorry for... uh... for making you mad at me. Uh, can I ask you what it was that I did?"

Elizabeth took a deep, shuddering breath. The tears seemed to have stopped, for now. "It was... You always seemed to take so much delight in making me feel silly or threatened. Like by implying that we would sleep in the same tent, or telling me I talk too much, or something." It sounded silly outside of her head. "Or... maybe you were trying to be... 'nice' then?"

He coughed, a little sheepishly, she thought. "Uh, well, sometimes I was... but, uh, mostly... Well, heh, I won't do that anymore. Sorry." Then he smiled at her. She smiled back tentatively, and found that she enjoyed smiling at him.

Launchpad enjoyed it, too, for a different reason. It turned out, he was discovering, that Princess Elizabeth had one of the most beautiful smiles he'd ever seen. Neither spoke for a few moments.

"Well," she breathed, finally. "In answer to your question..." She noted his confusion. "Why Gosalyn and I were out in the forest, remember?" He nodded in remembrance. "Well, I felt I would rather leave home for a while. Things in the castle weren't quite what I was wishing for at the time. I suppose I just had a case of ennui."

"'On we'?" Launchpad repeated, puzzled.

"Yes... You know, boredom? Castle life can be quite routine, and- Oh, never mind. I don't suppose you'd really understand."

He didn't really understand... Not the term, at least. But the concept was one he had no trouble identifying. "Nah, hey, I gotcha. It can get kinda boring, cooped up in there with all the political types all day." vShe brightened. "Exactly! Exactly, it's all routine, no excitement or anything. I wanted a chance to find my true identity. I guess I found out that my true identity was the one that was staring me in the face the entire time. Boring old Beth." She sighed. All this time, she had hoped that her sense of being stifled meant that, deep down inside, she was a wild, spontaneous person. So much for that idea.

Launchpad chuckled. "Aw, you're just not givin' it enough time! Ya gotta loosen up more, that's all! Let your hair down, y'know, take a while to get used to it an' then you'll see what we can offer. I could show you lots of stuff I bet you'd like."

Elizabeth didn't quite know how to interpret that. She wondered if he had meant that comment to sound as... suggestive as it did? And how could he not have meant it? She felt herself blushing, and turned to stare at him incredulously. He was grinning at her. It was that grin he wore when he was baiting her - and not five minutes after he had promised not to do that... She felt let down, and hurt, more than she felt angry. She couldn't find a way to express how she felt, so she just looked at him for a moment. Then something clicked and suddenly his expression seemed different to her. No trace of mockery, or even of ill intent... Just a friendly, open grin. And... an intent, an effort even, to please her. She swallowed. He _was_ being nice. All this time, and he'd been trying to be nice throughout it. Or for a lot of it, at any rate. She smiled back at him, the most genuine smile she'd given anyone since leaving the castle. "I'd like it very much if you would show me things, Launchpad," she said.

Launchpad positively beamed.

It was like a door was unlocked inside her suddenly. A rush of emotions hit her all at once, leaving her frightened, confused, and somehow strangely elated. This was the one. _He_ was the one. Finally, at long last, she felt that her decision to leave the castle had held some merit after all. And yet the emotion was so big, so overpowering, it made her feel almost ill to her stomach somehow. It threatened to break her control. And in fact, she dearly wanted it to. She struggled for something to say. "I-I almost forgot, ah, is your stomach feeling better?"

"Huh?" Launchpad looked quite confused for a moment.

"Ah, from when I, er, hit you." She knew it was ridiculous to ask. That had been days ago now. Of course it was feeling better.

"Oh, oh yeah! Yeah, it's been fine for a while now. No sweat!"

"Ah. Good. Because, uh... I'd hate to think you were still suffering over something I did to you." Yes, that sounded good.

An odd grin came to Launchpad's face. Elizabeth tried to figure out what it meant; it was a look she hadn't seen on him before, except for once or twice when she had first met him. She decided to wait and see what he said, to clarify. "I didn't know you cared, Beth," he said, quietly but very clearly.

Uh-oh. "I- I don't," she said nervously. That hadn't been what she was expecting. She backed a step or two away from him.

"You don't?" He took a step forward, then another, and kept coming forward as she continued retreating. Her back hit the banister of the balcony, and he had her trapped. She shook her head, unable to look away from his eyes, paralyzed with fear and... something else. Expectation perhaps. Launchpad leaned a little closer to her. "Well I care about you."

She shook her head again, weakly, even as her heart raced at this admission. "N-no... no you don't..."

"Yes I do. I really do, Beth." His voice had become low, almost a whisper. "Are you sure you don't?"

She drew a shuddering breath and closed her eyes. "M-maybe..." was all she could manage.

Launchpad didn't answer. Instead he closed his eyes as well, and lowered his bill to hers.

The silence was split horrendously by a scream from down below. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! DARKWING, HEEEEEEEELLLLLLP!!!"

Elizabeth's eyes snapped open and she turned her head in the direction of the scream. Launchpad, who didn't respond to the scream immediately, found himself breathing in her hair. "Gosalyn!" she cried. "Oh no!" She pushed him aside and dashed back into the castle before Launchpad was really able to get a grasp on what was happening.

* * *

Darkwing pulled his horse to a stop, certain that he heard a yell over the pounding of its hooves. A high-pitched yell... Impossible to tell for sure where it was coming from, but all of a sudden he felt sickly sure. "Gosalyn!" he yelled, and turned the horse around and set it off as fast as it could run. The courtyard he and Gosalyn had been in was only a small distance away, but he was dismayed to remember that the passage he had come through was too narrow for the horse. Deciding not to waste time looking for another path that was accessible to his steed, he dismounted and ran the rest of the way.

* * *

Elizabeth was most of the way down the stairs when she realized that she had no idea where Gosalyn was. The way the cry had been echoing, it could have come from anywhere... Wait. It was echoing, but not from too far off... She wasn't in the garden, that was for sure. It must have come from a fairly open space.

* * *

Launchpad blinked, trying to figure out what had just happened. Beth was right there... He was going to kiss her... She'd run away. Because... Gos was screaming! And Beth had run off towards the sound! "BETH!!" he yelled. "BETH, WAIT! IT'S DANGEROUS!!" He started for the door, with the intent of following the passage she'd taken, then quickly changed his mind. It would be quicker to simply jump off the balcony. The drop wouldn't hurt him at all... Actually he'd done it quite often, usually in the mornings when he was starting his early morning jog. Unfortunately, Darkwing was running just under the balcony as Launchpad jumped, and he was clobbered by his sidekick. The two of them fell into a jumbled heap on the ground.

"Nice timing," said Darkwing after he'd caught his breath.

* * *

"GOSALYN??" yelled Elizabeth, up ahead of her. There was no answer. She slowed down a little. "GOS?!"

"BETH, D--" Gosalyn's shout was cut off abruptly. Someone had shushed her, apparently. But whether that was by putting their hand over her mouth, or something else, Elizabeth didn't know.

"GOS! IF YOU'RE OKAY, YELL!" She thought about that for a second, then corrected herself. "WAIT-- IF YOU'RE OKAY, THEN DON'T YELL! No, wait, that won't work either..." She was considering how to phrase her cry when she stumbled in to the clearing.

"Well, hello again, Princess!" said Megavolt menacingly.

"Eep! The Fearsome Five-- ah, Four!" said Elizabeth. An icy hand grabbed her heart. She counted the bad guys standing before her. "Five," she concluded slowly. This... did not bode well. "Then you, I presume, are Negaduck?" she addressed a duck who was identical to Darkwing in every fashion except his clothes- and the pure malice in his personality. He was holding Gosalyn, who was tightly bound and now gagged, on his horse.

"And you must be our hostage!" he replied. "Don't try the Princess act on me, Missy. I've seen plenty of _real_ royalty before, and I'm afraid you just don't cut it. You can scream if you want to... I kind of like it, actually. But just keep in mind that it won't do you any good."

"Come on, sweetie, don't fight us... You don't want to get hurt," said Bushroot as Elizabeth assumed a Quack Fu position.

"Don't worry about hurting _me_," said Elizabeth coldly. "You guys just took me by surprise last time."

"Yeah, right," said Megavolt, and he advanced on her. Elizabeth took him out with a roundhouse kick to the stomach, and he collapsed, groaning. v"Next?" she said. The other three members of the group looked at each other nervously.

"Look at it this way," said Negaduck, behind them. "Deal with her... Or deal with _me_."

All three of them moved in on her at once. Elizabeth gave Bushroot a smack right in the bill, and then ducked and tried to kick the Liquidator's legs out from under him. Unfortunately, he didn't have any, and her foot passed right through him as Gosalyn's had earlier. He made a grab at her and she ducked, diving instead at Quackerjack's legs and knocking him over. She rolled over onto her back and threw Quackerjack at Bushroot, knocking them both out. The Liquidator continued to extend his limbs towards her, trying to grab her, and she kept darting out of the way just in time. She jumped to her feet and ran towards Megavolt, who was struggling to breathe.

He caught on immediately as to what she was about to do. "Oh no. No!" he shrieked as she ran in front of him just as the Liquidator reached for her again.

"Uh-oh," said the Liquidator, "I've got a headache this big..." The two connected, shorting each other out instantly.

Elizabeth came to a standstill in front of Negaduck, breathing hard and sweating lightly. "See Gos, I could _so_ be a ninja," she said. "So, Negaduck, do we do this the easy way, or the stupid way?"

Negaduck snorted derisively. "I'm guessing the stupid way."

Elizabeth was momentarily thrown by his dismissiveness. She shook herself out of it. "Then- prepare yourself! I'm not afraid of you!!"

To her dismay, Negaduck smirked. "You honestly think any of those moves could take me out?! You were dealing with the peanut gallery! Of course you beat them! They're worthless!"

Elizabeth's face reddened. "How _dare_ you write me off so easily?!"

Negaduck pulled up a shotgun, casually clicking off the safety as he did.

Elizabeth turned a sick-looking pale. "Uh... Where'd you get that?" she asked in a whisper.

"I always carry at least one with me," he answered conversationally.

"But... But firearms haven't even been concieved of yet!" she stuttered. He shrugged and aimed the gun precisely. "Great," she muttered, "now I'm gonna be killed by an anachronism." She gulped, determined not to show just how scared she was. "I-I'm sure Darkwing Duck will be here in no time, then."

"_Who cares_? Don't you get it?" he said. "Dimbulb Duck is _nothing_. You are _nothing_. But if you don't give yourself up right now, this brat will _literally_ be nothing. Your choice." He held the gun up to Gosalyn's head, and for once Gosalyn was too scared to struggle. He could shoot her point-blank if Elizabeth didn't give in. It could be a bluff, but if it wasn't...

It took less than a second for Elizabeth to decide. "Okay." Negaduck grinned in a superior fashion, which really bugged Elizabeth. He handcuffed her hands behind her back so tightly that her arms felt like they were pulling out of their sockets, and gagged her. Then he set her on Quackerjack's horse and remounted his own.

Just as the rest of the Fearsome Five was starting to regain consciousness, the cavalry arrived- a bit too late.

"Eat arrow, evildoers!" announced Darkwing, finally making it to the clearing. He held a bow and arrow ready, and was aiming it even as he spoke. Launchpad was standing at his side. Elizabeth's heart leapt. If she hadn't been gagged, she'd have called to him.

"Oh, sure, you _could_ shoot at me, but rest assured that you would only hit one of these frail, defenseless girls here," said Negaduck. Launchpad looked worried, but Darkwing maintained a poker face and kept his bow raised. "Still, I'd love to see you try, as long as you don't get blood on my new jacket..."

This had already occured to Darkwing, or else he'd have fired by now. He kept his expression as calm as he could, while his mind raced for a solution. There had to be a way to do this, something to aim for other than Negaduck... A tree branch, something, _anything_. He was Darkwing Duck, for crying out loud!!! Famous for keeping his cool in a disaster, for his ability to take on numerous foes... Where were those skills now that Gosalyn and the Princess needed him? The arm that was holding the arrow began to tremble just a bit.

Launchpad looked at him, waiting for him to do something. Trusting him, as usual. But, it seemed, only up to a point. Suddenly, and for the first time that Darkwing was aware of, Launchpad's patience snapped. "Beth!" he cried. "Negaduck, if you hurt her, I'll-" He began to rush forward. Negaduck signaled to the other members of his group, and Darkwing saw them edge forward into his line of vision.

He had no choice. He lowered the bow and arrow, and grabbed Launchpad to hold him back. His second-in-command turned to him, almost pleadingly, a look of desperation on his face. Darkwing shook his head. "A distraction by _them_ is the last thing we need right now," he mumbled, indicating the Fearsome Four. Launchpad looked almost pained as he nodded his head. He turned to look at the Princess, and some unspoken form of communication passed between them within a matter of seconds. She nodded as well, slowly.

Negaduck began to laugh. Darkwing was filled with loathing, like he'd never been before, and not just directed at Negaduck. A good portion of it was directed at himself as well. "You're not safe yet, Negaduck," he growled. He watched Gosalyn as the group rode away, unable to look away from her. She watched him as well, and in her eyes he saw no blame... Only faith in him. _I'm not scared. I've got you to protect me,_ he could almost hear her saying. His resolve was strengthened.

"You'll be sorry for this. YOU'LL BE SORRY!" His yell echoed after the Fearsome Five as they rode away.


	8. Act VII

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act VII

It had been more than an hour since Mike and Ray had left the castle, and King Herb was fidgeting. "Why aren't they _back_ yet?" he asked. "That plan should have been foolproof!"

"Now, dear, be patient," chided Binkie gently. "They've only been gone for a short while. I'm sure everything is going fine, and we have nothing to worry about."

And with that, the Fearsome Five took their cue to enter the castle.

The doors to the throne room were blown apart violently, and a figure stepped through the smoking hole. Before any of the guards could react, long, thick vines snaked around them and bound their arms and legs tight. Herb and Binkie were essentially tied to their thrones.

More figures became clear in the slowly dissipating smoke. There was still one prominent in the foreground, and the others flanked this primary one. "Anyone in here move, and we'll execute every last one of you!" shouted one. He almost seemed to glow through the smoke.

"Yeah! And we're real tough guys, too, so we mean it!" said another voice, somehow goofy and slightly menacing at the same time.

"And there's no point in anyone trying to escape anyway," said a third, slightly softer voice. "The moat has been flooded."

A fourth voice, this one with a touch of show to it, finished, "Courtesy of the Liquidator! Flooding moats since 1342!"

The smoke cleared sufficiently for the members of the court to see the figure in front. He was a duck, a little on the short side, with a black mask and a cape. He was saying nothing, simply staring at them with a nasty smirk on his face.

King Herb puffed himself up royally. "Who are you?" he demanded.

The duck in the front spoke, his voice low and gravelly. "Negaduck. We're the Fearsome Five. Are you going to give up now or do we have to go through all the annoying defiance routine?"

"Give up?! We'll never give up! You're only five, what do you have to hold over us?"

Negaduck burst out laughing, turned, and grabbed one of the figures behind him. "Take a good look, you simpering fools!" he yelled as he tossed Princess Elizabeth, still bound and gagged, onto the floor in front of the royal couple.

"What have you done to her?" cried King Herb, enraged by Negaduck's treatment of his daughter.

"She can tell you," he said, and took off her gag for a moment.

"Don't do anything he says, Your Majesties! You have no obligations to me! I'm not even your real daughter!" she screamed before he brutally tied the gag back on.

"Wrong line!" he snapped.

"Ya know, she's got a point...," said Herb, turning to his wife.

"That's true, Herb, but we've known her this long-- If she's not our daughter, who is?" she answered.

"A valid point, Binkie. Okay, what are your demands, Mr. Darkwing?"

There was a sudden sound, as if an egg were frying. Negaduck ground his teeth together and snarled, "_I-am-not-Darkwing-Duck_!! I am Negaduck!!!"

Herb looked puzzled. "But I could have sworn she was kidnapped by Darkwing Duck..."

"Dear, someone else kidnapped her from the first kidnappers," Binkie reminded him.

"Oh...? Well, I suppose we'd better talk to him."

"Man, what a stupid family," mumbled Negaduck to himself. "My demands are pretty simple, really. I'll turn her over to you, if you give me the kingdom. And I mean the _whole_ kingdom, the entire piece of land you rule, your guards, your money, everything. Ya got me?"

Elizabeth shook her head vehemently. Gosalyn, being held at the back of the room by Quackerjack, struggled fiercely to no avail.

King Herb sighed. "What choice have we? It's a deal," he said. He took off his crown and handed it to Negaduck.

"We're rich!" shouted Megavolt.

"I'm rich... You just work for me," sneered Negaduck.

"Drat." The Four grumbled a bit to each other at this comment.

"What!? Do you have a beef you'd like to _discuss_?!"

"Oh, no, no... Happy to be of service! Long live King Negaduck!"

"Get offa my throne," said Negaduck as he walked up to the royal couple. He passed Herb, who was already standing, grabbed Binkie by the arm, and shoved her to the ground. Then he sat where she had been and propped his legs up in Herb's seat. "Fearsome Five, throw these two suckers in the dungeon," he ordered.

"But-- but, our daughter!" said Binkie.

"Oh, yeah..." Negaduck thought for a moment, and then said casually, "When you're done with the Royal Blunders, take the brat and the bimbo to the torture room. I'll be right down."

Binkie gasped. Herb thought for a moment, as if trying to remember something, and then looked almost happy. "We don't have a torture room!" he said defiantly.

"_What_?!" Negaduck seemed almost offended. "I'll have to fix that... Aw, well, just take 'em out and kill 'em."

"Yes, sir!" they said, eyeing Gosalyn. Revenge could be sweet.

"You said they wouldn't be harmed if we let you win!" cried Herb.

"Yeah, and you believed me. Duh," said Negaduck. He bit his nails, self-satisfied, as Gosalyn and Elizabeth gave muffled cries of protest. "Aw, shut _up_!" he shouted.

"Enjoying yourself, Negaduck?" came a voice from the window. Darkwing Duck was silhouetted in the setting sun, drawing back his bow and arrow. At each of the windows in the huge throne room, several thieves from Darkwing's team climbed up over the edge and readied their weapons.

Gosalyn and Elizabeth gaped at the sight, staring up at Darkwing in awe and relief. Launchpad climbed up next to Darkwing, and looked around the assembled crowd until he found Elizabeth. The Princess's heart soared. He had come for her. He really did care.

Darkwing didn't miss a beat in addressing Negaduck. "Too bad it won't last! I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the-- Ack!" He was cut off by a bolt of electricity that barely missed him. "Nice try, but you have to get up pret-ty early in the morning to get Darkwing Duck so easily!" He smirked down at Megavolt.

"Man, I have really _got_ to work on my aim!" said Megavolt, his finger still steaming.

"Let me!" said Quackerjack, and grabbed Megavolt's hand. He pointed it directly at Darkwing and then stomped on Megavolt's foot. Megavolt screeched and shot another bolt at random, which zapped Darkwing a good one right in the solar plexus. Darkwing fell backwards into the overflowing moat.

"DW!" cried Launchpad, looking after his boss. He wasn't sure if Darkwing was conscious or not after that zap, and if he wasn't, there was no way he'd be able to swim in the moat when it was that deep. Of course, Launchpad was no great swimmer himself- in fact, he had just barely made it to the window at this time. But he couldn't let Darkwing drown. "I'll come back for ya, Beth!" he yelled, and dove off the window sill into the moat.

"MMMMPH!" yelled Elizabeth, not quite sure what to think. She looked at Gosalyn, who was simply looking worriedly at the window where Darkwing had been standing. Elizabeth swallowed hard.

"ATTACK!!" yelled another of Darkwing's thieves. A handful of the thieves took action at once, and more followed suit a few moments later. The other half hung back. Elizabeth recognized many of the ones who leapt into action: Ted, Bo, Lee, and Nire were among them. Harry stayed behind. Elizabeth wasn't surprised.

The outcome was never in doubt.

The Fearsome Five, to put it simply, wiped the floor with them. Darkwing's group lacked cohesion; they attacked one-on-one, slowly, and often glanced distractedly back towards the window where Darkwing had disappeared, as if waiting for him to return before starting to fight their best. Bit by bit, more members of the larger group joined in the fight, only to be defeated the same way that their predecessors did.

Elizabeth looked up at the windows again when she heard a series of splashes. The few remaining members of Darkwing's band had jumped into the moat. She was stunned, completely stunned, by their cowardice.

"Don't let them get away!" screamed Negaduck. "Megavolt! Liquidator! Make yourselves useful!"

"No problem, boss!" Megavolt asserted before Liquidator made any movement, and sprinted to the nearest window. "No sign of 'em from here," he said. "But I'll be _shocked_ if they make it out of here after this!" With that he let loose a huge blast of electricity at the moat. Elizabeth's eyes became wide as she realized what it meant- everyone in the water would be instantly electrocuted. Probably killed. And so many of Darkwing's thieves were in there... As was Darkwing... As was...

She tried to scream, but the gag wouldn't let the noise leave her throat.

Gosalyn stared at her. She had no idea what was so wrong, but obviously something was. Everyone else in the room, Darkwing's band included, was silent. This gave the Fearsome Five the chance to overpower the few members who were still fighting.

Megavolt watched quietly for a moment, and then chuckled. "Got 'im," he said.

Negaduck shoved his henchman out of the way and looked. "You nob. That's not Darkwing, that's his _hat_!!!"

"B-but he was wearing his hat when he fell in! And I charged that water with enough voltage to toast the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man!"

Negaduck snorted. "Yeah, I guess for once you did it right. No way he coulda lived through that." He turned to Megavolt, who looked proud for a moment before Negaduck grabbed him by the collar. "And you're lucky I got what I set out for today, Sparky, because if it were any other day I'd frag you where you stand for killing Darkwing Duck before _I_ could get to him."

Megavolt's breath caught in his throat. "Y-yes sir," he whispered hoarsely.

Negaduck eyed him for a few moments more before letting him go, and turned to survey the damage. "Not bad," he muttered. "You know, for once you're almost not losers. Now if you can just get them to the dungeon and dispose of the two skirts, I'll see about your living conditions. Who knows, you might not _have_ to sleep in the barn."

"Yes, sir!" said the Four, saluting cheerfully.

"And take the guards too. Unless any of them have any ambition..." He left the offer hanging in the air intentionally, and waited a few moments to see if anyone would pick up on it. In truth, he could use at least a few people familiar with the castle, but he wasn't about to trust most of these "loyal palace guards" any farther than Bushroot could throw them.

"Ah... S-sir... That is, Your Majesty, I would... er, offer my services," said one guard. He was rewarded with glares of betrayal from most of his peers, but a few others looked just nervous and Negaduck had a feeling that they'd come around under a little "convincing".

"Well, then, I'll see what I can do about setting up a few appointments," Negaduck said. He motioned towards a handful of guards, and they stepped forward. "The rest of you, get lost."

"You heard him," said Bushroot, pushing at the mass of prisoners as they were slowly herded out of the throne room. Princess Elizabeth refused to move, and stayed kneeling on the stone floor for quite some time until Quackerjack took her arm and yanked her along.

* * *

After taking the newest prisoners to the dungeon, the Four stared at the two prisoners whom Negaduck had sentenced to death. "You guys think we should do it here?" asked Megavolt. 

"Seems a little tacky, doesn't it?" replied Quackerjack.

"It'd be murder to get those pesky bloodstains out of the carpet," muttered the Liquidator.

Bushroot cleared his throat. "Well, you guys think this place has a basement or something?"

"If it did, you'd probably be scared to go into it, Bushy!" snickered Quackerjack.

"Oh, you're _funny_."

"Knock it off, you guys. Negaduck gave us a job to do." Megavolt glared at them.

Gosalyn looked between them. The way they were fighting, it was ridiculous. She couldn't believe they were captives of these jerks! She nudged Beth, trying to get her to go into her karate routine again. The Princess barely seemed to feel it. Instead she just kept staring down at the ragged carpeting at her feet. Gosalyn couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. This was prime escape opportunity!

"Our prisoners are lacking spirit," commented the Liquidator. "In need of a quick pick-me-up, perhaps?" Gosalyn glared at him, which had no effect at all.

"Look, guys, all I know is that I saw stairs leading _down_ when we brought the prisoners down. I say we take the prisoners down there, where it's quiet!" Bushroot was on the verge of whining now.

"Yeah, yeah, couldn't hurt," said Megavolt. He prodded Gosalyn and Elizabeth each in turn. Gosalyn angrily started moving, but Elizabeth had to be prodded again before she slowly started shuffling along, looking straight ahead without seeming to see anything. Megavolt pushed on her shoulder impatiently. "Move it already!"

She started to stumble, and made no effort to catch her balance. Bushroot caught her by the shoulder. "You all right?" he asked, and got no response. She didn't even move, just stared past him. "Uh... hey..."

"I think you've got a crush on her, Bushy!" said Megavolt.

"I do not! I was just getting her to move on quicker!" he said quickly, letting go of her.

"Reggie's got a girlfriend, Reggie's got a girlfriend," sang Quackerjack.

"When dealing with that 'special someone...'," said the Liquidator.

"Aw, knock it off. Some friends you guys are."

"You don't like her, then? Prove it. _You_ kill her," Megavolt dared him.

"Fine then, I will," said Bushroot instantly, then froze. "Uh... B-but I can't do it _here_."

"Where ya gonna do it, then?" Quackerjack taunted.

"I dunno. I can't do it with you guys watching."

"What could be better than three good friends to help you with your work?" Liquidator asked.

Megavolt chuckled. "Bet he'd get all jumpy and mess it up!"

"Forget it. I'm takin' her, and you guys can't come!" snapped Bushroot. He yanked Elizabeth by the arm, grabbed Gosalyn on the way, and headed off down the stairway. The other three stood and watched him leave.

"You know, now that I think about it, this may not have been the smartest thing for us to do," said Megavolt a few minutes later, still in the same spot.

The Liquidator pondered the situation. "What should we do now?"

"I don't know. I guess we just sit here and wait for him to come back." After another few minutes, he shifted. "My feet are starting to hurt..."

* * *

Gosalyn couldn't believe the luck. Instead of having to take out _four_ superpowered incompetents, they only had to take out _one_! Then they could escape and find Darkwing! She glanced at Elizabeth, who was still staring off into the distance. Gosalyn became very, very worried- something was obviously wrong. But maybe this was still a part of some kind of plan. She'd wait a little while longer for Beth's cue. Just a little longer. 

"Okay," said Bushroot. "I guess this is where I kill you." He paused. Then he walked over to Elizabeth and removed her gag. "Any last words?"

"No," she mumbled. "Just get it over with."

Gosalyn was shocked. She'd expected, if not a cue for an attack, then at least an insult or something. But there wasn't even a hint of sarcasm in the Princess's voice.

"Well, uh, right. Then I will." Bushroot looked around, as if searching for a weapon or something, and gently scratched the foliage on top of his head. "Right, just get it over with," he mumbled. He admitted to himself, reluctantly, that he didn't have the first idea of how to start on this. But if he went back to the others and admitted it, he'd look stupid! There was nothing worse than looking stupid in front of the guys. They made a hobby out of making fun of him already, and the last thing they needed was proof that he was as much of a wuss as they said he was.

And he _wasn't_ a wuss! He just didn't happen to have especially lethal powers, that was all! That was the only problem, just that he didn't have the means to do them in! That was it! But still, the guys would never understand that. He was stuck! He couldn't let them go, so he'd have to kill them.

He looked at Princess Elizabeth and knew that wasn't an option. He couldn't. He just _couldn't_. He opened his mouth to tell her, and something very, very solid crushed one of his roots.

"YYEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOWCH!" By instinct he summoned a large number of vines and wrapped them tightly around the little girl who had stomped on his foot. She was glaring at him defiantly. "_Oh_, you're in for it now, you little--"

"NO!!!" He stopped short, surprised to suddenly hear so much animation in the voice of the Princess.

Gosalyn silently cheered. All right! Finally, action time! She wished she could get this stupid gag off of her mouth so that she could cheer Beth on.

"Huh?" said Bushroot.

Elizabeth looked at him, her eyes pleading. "Don't. Not her, too. Please, please don't kill her."

He wasn't sure if he'd been about to or not. He didn't think he was, in truth. But whatever his intent had been, it disappeared when he heard this plea. He gulped, and his eyes fell on the many rusted doors in this hallway. More dungeons, it seemed- these ones used even less than the ones in the higher levels. Moving quickly, he shoved one open and pushed the girl and the Princess into it. "You stay in here," he said firmly. "I'll bring you guys food if I can, but don't hold your breath. And if anyone finds out you're down here, I'm not doing anything to save you. Got it?" Shocked, Elizabeth nodded dumbly. Bushroot nodded as well, and slammed the door shut. Then he located the keys, hanging on a hook to the right of the cell, and locked the door.

He was halfway back to the staircase when he heard her voice, softly calling him.

"...Bushroot?"

"Huh?"

"Why... why didn't you..?"

He was silent for a while. 'Because I'm just a coward,' didn't sound very dramatic. He tried to think of something that didn't sound stupid, and finally answered, "I just... I can't kill people I respect." With that, he left.

* * *

Gosalyn waited for Elizabeth to say or do something, but she didn't. She just stood there, leaning against the wall of the cell, looking miserable. Finally, Gosalyn cleared her throat, and Elizabeth looked over at her. "Oh... yeah," she murmured, and approached her. Both of them still had their hands tied behind their back, so Elizabeth went behind Gosalyn and turned around, and proceeded to do her best to untie the knot holding Gosalyn. It took a while, but she was finally successful, and stepped away as Gosalyn shucked off the ropes holding her. She took out the gag last, spitting as she did. 

"Ugh!! That thing tasted like sweat! Did yours?" She grimaced, and ran her finger over her tongue as if trying to clean it off. Unfortunately, this action didn't help to cheer Elizabeth up. "Hey! C'mon! We're still alive, and we can get out of here!" She walked around her friend to untie her bonds, but Elizabeth moved away to a back corner of the cell. "Oh, come on, Beth. We can get out of here and find Darkwing, and then-"

"Darkwing's dead, Gosalyn."

Stunned, Gosalyn said nothing for almost a minute, then finally whispered, "What..?"

Elizabeth answered, also in a whisper, "He's dead. And so is..." She choked on the words, stifled a sob, and hung her head. "So is Launchpad. And everyone who was in the moat. They're all dead, and we're not going to get out of here."

Gosalyn felt sick. "That's impossible. I mean- you don't know-"

"Gosalyn." Elizabeth's answer was soft, but insistent. "Water conducts electricity. The electrical current that Megavolt released spread through the whole moat. There's... there's no way they could have gotten out."

"I don't believe that."

Elizabeth didn't look at her. She sank to a sitting position in the back of the cell, staring at the floor. "You'll have time to get used it," she said softly. "Please forgive me, Gosalyn, for causing this whole thing."

"Beth, what are you _talking_ about?!" Gosalyn yelled. "You didn't cause this!" Elizabeth shook her head. "Don't _do_ this, Beth!"

Staring at the floor, Elizabeth whispered, "Please forgive me," again, and that was the last thing Gosalyn could get her to say.

* * *

"So, how many more hills is it just past now?" 

Ray turned his glare around at Mike, and said sourly, "Was that sarcasm?"

Mike returned the glare with full intensity. "Gee, I don't know," he said. "That depends on whether we're lost or not."

"We're _not_ lost!" snapped Ray. "I know this forest backwards and forwards! I'm just having a little trouble finding the camp, that's all!"

Mike adopted an incredulous expression. "A little trouble?! You've stumbling about going to the wrong place for two hours now! Just admit we're lost!"

"We're _not_ lost, I tell you! The campsite is just over this hill!"

Mike grimaced, but held his tongue. At first, he had thought this apparent wild goose chase was a rather ingenious way of keeping him from learning the exact location of the camp; after the second hour of wandering around in the woods, he realized that Ray simply had _no_ sense of direction, and that was all there was to it. If he had to hear the phrase "Just over this hill" one more time after this, he was going to forget Ray and find the place on his own.

"Uh-oh," said Ray, up ahead. Mike noticed that he'd reached the top of the hill; the inevitable "maybe it's this way" would be coming up soon. Instead, Ray said, "But this is it. I'm _sure_ this is it."

Mike joined him at the peak of the hill, and looked down at what Ray saw. A shambles. What had once been a campsite- evidently a rather large one- was now charred, blackened, with a few ripped tents still standing here and there. There was no sign of anyone living there. "Chalk another one up to 'trouble finding the camp', Laughing Boy," said Mike. "Let's go."

"No!" snarled Ray. "This is _it_. This is the site. That sign on the tree over there, that proves it!" He pointed at a pine tree that had a stylized "DW" inside a circle carved on the trunk. "Someone destroyed the camp site while I was gone!"

"Oh, no. The Princess!" Mike started running, not even thinking about where he was going.

"Hey! You idiot, where do you think you're going?!" Ray caught up with him and kept pace, glaring at him as they ran.

"The Princess- as a member of the Junior Guards it's my- my duty to keep her safe- I've failed her once already, and I won't fail her again!"

Ray snorted. "Look, stupid, even _I_ know that you can't just run up against the Fearsome Five! You have to have a plan! You'd be better off going back to your castle and-"

Mike stopped short. Displaying amazing reflexes, Ray stopped only an instant later, and spun to face him. "Who are the... the Fearsome Five?"

"The ones who did this," Ray said, as if it should be obvious. "A gang of thieves. Real nasty ones. Five of them, but they have these weird powers. Even we have trouble beating them- you'd never be able to go up against them alone. Better you go back and get the help of your little monarch and his little army."

"You seem awfully helpful," said Mike suspiciously.

"Feh. Help, nothing. They're our arch enemies, I'm sure not going to defend them. I am, however, going to find my teammates."

Mike grabbed Ray's arm forcefully. "Oh no you're not. You're coming back to the castle with me. I have no reason to trust you, you know. Even if everything you said is true, you're not getting away so easily."

Ray wrenched his arm free from Mike's grasp, almost effortlessly it seemed, and glared at him, then gave him a curt nod. "I suppose I can see the honor in that. After all, there's a good chance that if we find the Fearsome Five, we find Darkwing as well." Mike had an idea that this was his way of admitting that he needed a guide to find his band. He decided to rub it in later, and instead took off running in the direction that he hoped led back to the castle, with Ray keeping pace.


	9. Act VIII

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act VIII

Terry did her best to keep her expression neutral as the palace guard inspected her license. Filthy, stinking traitor. To give in to _Negaduck_ of all people. She wanted to throw him out of her pub, or even better, throw him out of the kingdom. It was days like this one that she wished she had a little more power in the community than simply being the proprietor of a pub.

"Well, nothing objectionable here, Miss," said the guard, looking up and giving her a slightly forced grin. "I guess you can keep Eisley open!"

"What about Mo's?" she asked, gesturing across the street at the rival pub. She had always out-done it for business; only the outlaws passing through from other villages went in there.

"Oh, Mo's is going to be expanding. It'll be a chain soon, by order of the King. It's his favorite restaurant." Terry fought back a scream of outrage. Not only was she going to lose to that hive of scum and villainy over there, but it made her sick to think of _anyone_ calling Negaduck "The King". She fairly shook with anger, but kept it inside.

Coolly, she replied, "Well, thank you. Thank you _very_ much." If he caught the sarcasm, he didn't care much about it. He waved at her over his shoulder as he left.

"Pig," she muttered to herself, and began wiping down the tables to take her mind off the horrible situation. What a day. What an awful, awful day. At least she hadn't lost her business, but to have lost so many of her friends, her sense of security, and most of what made this village home- all in one day- she wondered if she could handle it. The more she thought about it, the worse she felt.

Drake. One of her oldest, dearest friends... Dead. How? She had thought Darkwing Duck practically immortal. He was the Prince of Thieves! True, the title had been self-proclaimed, but only those who remembered the beginnings of his career knew that. Many people these days thought that the duck had preceded the legend, when in fact, thanks to Drake's rumor-spreading ability, the legend had come before the duck. She smiled to herself, and her heart ached immensely.

Don't think about it.

She stared at the table she had been wiping for five minutes now, noticing that she was beginning to wipe some of the finish away, and chuckled to herself. If she got much more depressed she'd end up ruining the furniture, she thought. And she had no right to be so depressed; others had it worse than she did. The royal family especially. She pitied them; perhaps not the brightest family ever to rule, but they didn't deserve this. Locked in the dungeon, betrayed by a handful of their guards, and their only daughter... executed. How horrible.

Yes... There were lots of people worse off than she was.

The thought didn't help her at all.

Don't think about it.

A clattering in the back room of the pub brought her back to reality, although she wasn't sure if that was good or bad in the long run. She gasped, and grabbed the only thing resembling a weapon that she could find, which was a broom. Maybe this was it, the moment when she _did_ lose her business. Why she hadn't knocked on wood when she had the chance, she didn't know... She set her teeth and flung open the door to the back room, brandishing the handle of the broom like a staff, and stopped short.

There were a handful of about five sopping wet people facing her, all of whom should have been dead. In fact, one of them did look half dead, as he was being supported between two of his teammates.

Terry stared. The thieves stared.

Finally, she broke the silence. "Drake?"

Darkwing grinned. "Hate to spoil the party, but can you give us a hand with Launchpad? We've had a really hard day."

* * *

"...So, once I was sure that the rope was secured around the tree branch, we all managed to climb out of the moat before Megavolt electrocuted it. We would have come straight here, since we knew it would be hard to get around in the village once Negaduck sent out patrols, but Launchpad kind of slowed us down." Darkwing paused in his recounting to take a sip of the tea that Terry had made for him and his thieves.

She looked over at Launchpad, who was looking a lot better. "Are you alright, Launchpad?" she asked.

He gave her a weak smile. "Yeah, I'm doin' a lot better. Just kinda tired now. I feel like I swallowed half of the Audubon River." He chuckled.

"Good thing I'm an _excellent_ swimmer," Darkwing sniffed, but threw his sidekick a grin. "You're sure you're okay, buddy?"

Launchpad nodded sheepishly. "I thought you'd been knocked out."

"Hey, Darkwing Duck is made of tougher stuff than that."

"Teflon, apparently," said a thief whose name Terry didn't know. She joined the others in laughing, backing up as she did, and bumped into Harry.

She jumped. "Oh- excuse me!" she said. He nodded slowly. It was the most response she'd seen him give since they showed up. She stared at him a second longer, not sure what to think, and then shrugged. "Drake, is Bo okay?" she said, her voice betraying the urgency she'd tried to keep from feeling.

"I... didn't see what happened to Bo," said Darkwing thoughtfully. "If he stayed behind, he was probably captured along with everyone else. But I don't know, I mean- I didn't see..."

"I saw," said Harry. Everyone turned and waited for him to continue, which he didn't.

Finally Terry prompted him. "You saw what?"

"Got captured."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Well, I mean, at least he's alive." Although if Negaduck was treating all of his prisoners the same, that might not be true for much longer, she realized. She wondered if Darkwing had heard about the Princess's fate yet, and was about to ask him when he answered her question on his own.

"Right! So we'd better get to planning on how to rescue him, and Gosalyn and the Princess!" The others agreed.

So he hadn't heard. Terry tried to think of a good way to say it. Somehow "don't bother, she's dead" sounded a little bit harsh. If somone had told her of Drake's death in that way, she'd have slugged them. Meanwhile, during her silence, the conversation continued.

"Maybe you'd better stay behind here for a while, LP. Just until you're sure you're up to this."

"Drake..."

"No way, DW. I promised Beth I'd come back for her, and I'm-" Darkwing, hearing the note of quiet urgency in Terry's voice, held up a hand.

She still didn't know quite what to say. "Drake... the Princess..." Before she could complete the thought, even in her head, a sudden pounding erupted on the door of the pub. Terry gasped. "The cellar! Quick! Get down there, _now_! I'll keep them at bay!" She pushed all five of the thieves towards the back, the way they'd come in. No sooner had she bolted the cellar door behind them than the front one slammed open.

"WHERE IS THE MUDDLEFOOT'S CASTLE!?"

"Oh, for crying out loud, Ray, we don't need directions, I _live_ there," said an exasperated-looking young man standing behind the eternally-lost member of Darkwing's band.

Terry caught her breath. "You!!" She unbolted the door to the cellar and then started pushing Ray down the stairs. "Down, down! They're down there and they need you! You, too!" She grabbed the other duck's hand, whoever he was, and pulled him into the cellar as well.

"What the heck is going on here?!" cried Ray's traveling companion. Terry ignored him.

Darkwing looked up as Ray joined the group. "Ray! Where have you been?"

"I was on that mission you sent me on, sir," said Ray. "You remember, delivering the message to the King."

"I sent _you_ out on that mission? Boy, what was I thinking?" Darkwing shook his head, and looked over as another young man came down the stairs along with Terry. He recognized him right away.

The recognition was mutual, evidently. The young palace guard's expression changed from confusion to one of rage. "_You_!!" he roared, and drew his sword and attacked Darkwing with all his force. Darkwing dodged, and looked about for a weapon. He ducked a high stab that Mike made, then jumped to avoid a low stab, and landed by a barrel. He kicked the barrel, and Mike paused in his attack to dodge.

"Settle down, Junior!" said Darkwing.

"What's going on? Isn't he a member of your team?" Terry asked Ray.

Ray shook his head. "Oh, no, his name's Mike. He's a member of the Junior Palace Guards. Kind of a jerk, too."

Terry slapped her forehead. "D'oh!!"

"Settle down? _Settle down_?! You monster! You _dare_ to tell me that!?" Mike swung his sword at Darkwing again, who picked up a wooden plank and let the sword get embedded in it.

"He's on your side!" Terry called.

Mike snarled and addressed the others in the room. "_I_ am on the side of justice! This _thief_ broke into the Princess's chambers while she was gone, then proceeded to kidnap her and hold her for ransom! He's filth! He's everything I stand against! This slime is-"

"This 'slime' is my best friend," said Terry.

"This 'slime' is my boss," said Launchpad.

"This 'slime' thanks you all for the distraction," said Darkwing, and threw a moth-eaten blanket over Mike's head, disabling him. Terry applauded, and Darkwing bowed. "Now," he said to the figure tangled up in the blanket, "are we willing to listen for a moment?"

"Yes," came the reluctant answer, muffled through the blanket.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, both sides of the story had been told. "I still can't believe I sent _Ray_ out to deliver the message. I must have been distracted that day," muttered Darkwing. Ray looked insulted.

"_I_ still can't believe I'm going to team up with _you_ people," said Mike. "Getting help from one band of thieves to defeat another..."

Terry came back into the cellar with some cidar. "Really, Mike, they're not so bad. Actually, I've known Darkwing for years, and he's one of the most honorable, upstanding people I've ever met."

"Who just happens to be an outlaw," said Mike.

Darkwing shrugged. "To each their own."

"Uh, can we get plannin' soon? I'm worried about Beth," said Launchpad.

Mike snapped his head around to look at him. "What do you care about the Princess?!" he demanded, his tone rather possessive.

Terry spoke up. "Uh..."

"I care a lot about the Princess," said Launchpad.

"Uh, hey..."

"Oh, yes. So much so that you held her captive for four days straight. You sure care for her."

"Guys? About the Prin-"

Launchpad looked to be on the verge of getting angry. "I love her," he said quietly.

Terry forgot about attempting to interrupt. Darkwing looked surprised- he hadn't seen this coming, although in retrospect he probably should have. Harry didn't seem to have heard.

The only one who wasn't shocked into silence was Mike, who answered, "Well, so do I."

There was a brief stare-down. Without breaking eye contact, Launchpad said, "So I guess the question is, who does she love?"

"Me, of course!" Mike said instantly. She must love him. She'd known him most of her life. And after all, he cared for her. He hadn't really thought about love before this, but hearing this guy's claim on Beth brought it to the surface.

This would only get worse from here. Terry shook her head. "Guys. Listen." For once she must have timed it right, or something, because she finally got their attention. She took a breath. "The guards who came by earlier- they were the ones who told me that Darkwing was dead. And they told me that the King and Queen had been overthrown, and... they told me... the Princess was, she, she was executed early this evening."

Launchpad didn't reply. Mike found his voice first. "B-but... they were wrong about Darkwing..."

Terry shook her head and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "They were guessing. This was, apparently, an execution. It was done personally. There's... there's no doubt." Terry heard a dull 'thump' as Launchpad sat down heavily.

Darkwing asked softly, "And Gosalyn...?"

"They didn't mention her."

He nodded. The expression of sorrow on his face didn't go away. He took off his hat and held it against his chest silently.

"I..." Mike suddenly roared, "I'LL KILL THEM!!!!" and ran for the door.

Ray caught him on the way there, and held him back, barely. "Hey. _Hey_! What did I tell you?! You can't take them on yourself! Mike, hang on, we'll get them, just hang on!" Mike continued to struggle, apparently not hearing Ray at all. "Mike! Mike, come on, listen to me!"

"He's right, Mike," said Darkwing. "The best thing to do is stick together, stay with the plan, and we'll get them in the end."

"You won't do yourself or her any good like this," said Ray.

Mike stopped struggling, but was shaking as he said, "Fine. I'll play it your way. But I swear, I swear they will pay with their own lives." Ray slowly let go of him, satisfied that he would stay put.

Darkwing put a hand on Launchpad's shoulder. "You okay?"

"I never... I never told her, DW." Launchpad's voice was even more pained than the expression on his face. "I never got to tell her that I love her."

Darkwing couldn't think of a reply. It all seemed so phony in the face of this. "I know," he said simply. "If you want to sit this one out, LP, I understand."

Launchpad shook his head. "No way. I'm going. I have to. Even if it's just to... to say goodbye." Darkwing squeezed his shoulder in silence, and Launchpad stood up.

"Sir..." One of the other thieves said hesitantly. "How are we going to get into the castle?"

"There's a back way," said Mike. "I'll get us there. It's small, so it'll take a while for all of us to get in, but I'll get us there."

"Going in all at once risks capture," said Darkwing. "That's a chance we can't take. We have to try for groups."

"I can help," said Terry suddenly.

Darkwing looked at her gratefully, but said, "No. You can't put yourself in danger like that. I won't have it."

She shook her head. "No danger. Honest. I can sneak some of you in the front way and I doubt they'll even be able to trace it to me. That's assuming, of course, that you guys win."

Darkwing grinned, and he was back to the old Darkwing, inflated with what was, in truth, a well-founded ego. "Of course we'll win," he said. "We're the good guys."

* * *

In the cells of the castle dungeon, Ted was thinking hard. This situation was totally bogus! They'd taken away all his weapons- and even though he couldn't really think of a way to break out of a dungeon with a dagger, he still thought it was pretty non-triumphant. He screwed up his face and thought hard. Somewhere to his left, people were talking. It was breaking his concentration. "Hey, I'm tryin' to think! Can you shut up for a second?"

This was met by a sudden, stunned silence. Ted looked over to see that the people who had been talking were the King and Queen. "Oh, uh, sorry, royal dudes," he said apologetically. They frowned.

"What a horrible situation!" said Binkie fitfully. "After everything else, we're locked up down here with these... ruffians, and to be spoken to in such a way...!"

"Please excuse him," said another occupant of their cell, coming up behind her. Herb and Binkie jumped and turned to see a panda smiling at them. "He's got about as much on his mind as it can handle at the moment. Please, rest assured that we're doing all we can to free you from your imprisonment."

"Why should we trust you?" demanded Herb. "You're a thief, just like them!"

Bo's smile fell, and he looked a little insulted. "Having the same occupation does not mean having the same values, Your Majesty," he said. "The Fearsome Five stands for things that I and my teammates loathe. We would never-"

"Nothing you can say can change the fact that you kidnapped our daughter," said Herb angrily. His look of anger was replaced with one of sorrow, and Binkie started sobbing. Honker, who had been standing uneasily in a corner of the cell they were in, moved beside her and hugged her. Herb mumbled, "Maybe, if you hadn't, things might have turned out differently."

"I... apologize for your loss, Your Majesty." Bo looked completely sincere as he said this. "My teammates and I have also suffered losses today. But you must realize that we have to keep fighting, and can't afford to give up until we've won!"

"Winning won't bring our daughter back."

"No," Bo agreed. "It won't bring anyone back. But it will keep others from suffering the same losses."

"Dudes! Please, gimme a break here!" called Ted irritably from the other side of the cell.

Herb ignored him. "How do you propose to form a plan to break out of these dungeons, when the only other member of your group in the same cell as you is _him_?" He pointed at Ted, who was tugging on a few strands of his shoulder-length hair in an effort to think more clearly.

Bo sighed, and admitted that the King did indeed have a point. Ted wasn't his ideal planning partner. He was sure that the Fearsome Five had split their cell groupings up haphazardly, but it was an interesting coincidence that he was paired only with the Royal couple, their youngest son, and the member of his group with the most space in his head of anyone. It was possible, he conceded, that some of his teammates in other cells might escape first, though. Or some of the palace guards. Or, maybe, miracle of miracles, Bo and Ted could actually think of something on their own. "Never lose faith, Your Majesties," Bo said, with confidence he didn't quite feel. "We'll do our best, and one way or another, we'll get out of here." The Royal Family didn't look too convinced. Bo crossed the length of the cell and knelt down beside Ted. "Got a plan yet?" he asked, not expecting much.

"Uh... No... Wait! Yeah, I got one! We could try pulling the bars out!"

"Pff. Good one, Ted...," Bo trailed off as Ted jumped up and started feverishly tugging at the bars in front of him. He realized that his teammate wasn't joking. A sweat was appearing on his face as he pulled. "Ted, come on, you'll hurt yourself!"

"No way, it's not hard!" Ted assured him. "C'mon, maybe some of the cement'll crumble or somethin'!" Bo joined him and they both pulled as hard as they could, but to no avail.

"I don't believe I just did that," panted Bo after they'd given up. They sat back down on the floor. "If I only had my metal file... We could wear these bars down to nothing!"

Ted snapped his fingers. "Hey, maybe the king or queen has one!" he said. He walked over to the royal couple and politely asked if he could use a file. Binkie smiled and gave him an emory board. "Here ya go, Bo," he said, returning to the cell door.

"Oh, now this is getting silly," said Bo, looking down at the flimsy wooden board.

"Nah, silly would be for us to try to dig our way through the concrete to the outside!" Ted and Bo chuckled a little over this suggestion. Their laughter died down after a moment, however, and both began scrabbling at the cement floor.

Ten minutes later, they had nothing to show for their efforts but scraped, bleeding fingers. "Ow," said Bo, sucking on them. "Nice idea."

"I said it was _silly_! You were the one who tried it!"

"I was just following your lead, Ted."

"So now what?"

Bo sighed, and crossed his legs to take a comfortable seat on the concrete. "I guess now we play the waiting game."

Ted sighed as well, and sat silently for a total of five seconds. Then he announced, "Dude, the waiting game is totally bogus! Let's play 'Hungry Hungry Hippos'!" Bo put his head in his hand and groaned.

* * *

"HEY!!" called a voice a bit down the road from the castle. The two guards on duty instantly drew their swords. The voice was female, but that didn't mean it wouldn't pose a threat to Negaduck. And Negaduck had made it very clear that if any threat was posed to him, he had no qualms with shooting the messenger.

"Who goes?" called one of the guards, squinting to make out the figure who was approaching them in the dimming evening light.

"I'm Terry! From Eisley's! I have a delivery, could you give me a hand?" The guards shrugged, and then the bigger one approached her. "Thank goodness, I really needed help with these," she said when he reached her. She gestured towards a cart that was loaded with huge barrels. "I don't have a horse, and the land here is getting muddy, and-"

"No deliveries," said the guard.

"What?" she said, with just the right amount of shock and indignance. "Wait a minute. I didn't lug these things all this way for nothing, pal."

The guard shook his head. "We're under strict orders not to let anyone into the castle unless Negaduck says so."

Terry snorted. "I have an order, from Negaduck. Five barrels of root beer, for some celebration tonight. I'm late as it is, what with all the mud around here." She produced a piece of paper from her pocket. The guard peered at it closely, but couldn't make out any words. "Oh, for crying out loud. Look, _I'm_ not even going in there! I'm just here to drop off the drinks, no questions asked."

"Root beer, eh?" The guard looked at her suspiciously. "We'll see about that!" He kicked one of the barrels off of the cart. It split open, and dark liquid poured out of it. The guard bent over and poked the puddle with his finger, then tasted it. "Oh."

"Root beer, genius. Like I said." Terry's tone was wry. "Look, if you're willing to take the blame for why Negaduck has no drinks for this party of his, I'm willing to leave. Your choice." She took back the paper that had the order on it, and made an alteration. "Look. I've changed the order so that it says four barrels instead of five, okay? You won't even get blamed for busting that one. Are we good?"

The guard looked at the broken barrel on the ground, and then growled, "Fine, fine." Terry smiled.

"Great. So give me a hand, will you? Like I said, I'm late with this already." She pushed the cart as hard as she could, and it slowly began moving. The guard helped her, and within another minute or two they had reached the entrance to the castle. "I'll take it from here, boys. Have to deliver my order to the King himself." She smiled and waved as she went inside. "This one's for the _real_ King," she mumbled as she pulled the cart into a deserted hall of the castle.

She pulled the top off of one of the remaining four barrels, and Darkwing climbed out. "That was a close one," Terry whispered.

"I thrive on 'close ones'," said Darkwing with a grin. He and Terry each opened one another barrel, and Launchpad and another thief climbed out.

"I wasn't expecting him to _break_ the barrel that way! Thank heavens he picked one of the fakes," said Terry, as she replaced the lids on the still-intact barrels.

"My neck is stiff," said the third thief, stretching her muscles briefly.

"Hey, it coulda been worse. We coulda actually been _in_ root beer," said Launchpad.

"Okay, okay, so it wasn't a perfect plan! It got us inside, didn't it?" said Terry in mock-irritation.

Darkwing chuckled. "Next time _you_ can ride in the barrels," he said.

Terry looked around quickly. "Okay, I have to go. Good luck, Drake." She squeezed his hand. "And make sure Bo gets out okay."

"No problem," said Darkwing. He noticed that Launchpad's expression had turned morose, and changed the subject. "Get out of here, kid. We'll see you in no time. And thanks."

"My pleasure." With that, she left.

"Now what, sir?"

Darkwing narrowed his eyes. "Now... We find Negaduck and give him what's coming to him."


	10. Act IX

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act IX

Mike let out a frustrated sigh and held up his hand, signifying for the three thieves he was leading to stop. "There's a guard," he breathed. He hadn't expected Negaduck to know about the back entrance to the castle, since it was quite small and certainly not noticeable to those who didn't know about it. Even Darkwing hadn't known about it, and to Mike's knowledge, Darkwing had been in and out of the castle far more times than Negaduck. Harry peered down at the guard, who was still quite a few paces away.

"Only one," he said.

"One's all they need here. 'Only one' can still catch us." Mike wondered which of the Fearsome Five that was at the door. He didn't fit Darkwing's description of any of them.

Ray whispered, "So we sneak up on him."

Mike nodded. "But on my mark, got me?" He stared at the lone guard for a moment longer before it clicked. That wasn't one of the Fearsome Five at all. That was one of the _palace_ guards! "No." He hissed inwardly. Betrayed! Betrayed by one of his own! How many more were there? How many of his _friends_ were responsible for the downfall of the royal family? He fought down the urge to run down and strangle the guard. "Change of plans," he whispered.

"What?" said the other thief who was with them, a feline. "What are you talking about?"

"He's a palace guard. We're trained to listen for suspicious noises, he'll hear us coming. No point in giving ourselves away."

Ray scowled. "Oh, I forgot. The Royal Palace Guardsmen Association can do no wrong. Don't underestimate us, Mike!"

"I'm not! Trust me. I'm going to talk to him. I know him." He motioned for them to stay in place, and stepped as lightly as he could towards the entrance.

"Halt!" snapped the guard, his sword in readiness before Mike was even in his line of sight.

"Hey, I give up," called Mike. The guard looked confused. "It's me. Mike. I'm a Junior Guard." He crossed the distance between them, smiling, and held his hands above his head. "No tricks. I was out on a mission, remember? I'm just getting back and they won't let me in the front way."

"If- If you come any closer I'll be forced to arrest you," said the guard.

Mike stopped short. "You're not working for him _voluntarily_, are you?" he asked quietly. He received no answer. "Have you no honor at all? Come on. We both know what the right thing to do here is. We both know you're going to let me in."

Mike's only answer was a sword at his throat. "You're under arrest by the Royal Palace Guardsmen Association, under the charge of High Treason," said the guard coldly.

"_I'm_ under-?!" This was the last straw. Mike drew his sword quickly, jumping backwards as he did. Even so, the guard's sword still caught his shoulder slightly, nicking him and drawing blood. Stunned, he took another step backwards, faltering for his balance. The guard didn't hesitate, but readied himself for another stab. He got no further than readying before a yellow blur hit his arm and knocked his sword out of his hand. Mike took the opportunity, and hit the guard, knocking him out.

"You have a sword," said Ray, suddenly at Mike's side. "Why didn't you use it?" He knelt to pick up the bolo he'd thrown to disarm the guard.

Mike shook his head. "I just didn't," he said. The truth was that he couldn't bring himself to draw blood from a superior, no matter what the circumstances. "Ray... Thank you. I guess I owe you."

Ray flushed. "We have more honor than you think, you know." He turned and started walking.

"Ray." When the thief looked back over his shoulder, Mike said, "The entrance is _this_ way." They waited for the other two thieves to join them, and then crawled in through the small entrance.

A short while later, Mike crept down the hallway toward the dungeons. "Okay, what we're going to do-" he said, and then fell silent.

The feline thief looked puzzled. "What is-"

"Sh!" Mike shoved them all in line against a wall, and flattened himself against it as well. A moment later, Bushroot came up the nearby staircase, glanced around furtively, and then continued up the next flight of stairs. After a few seconds, Mike breathed a long sigh. "Okay. We're alright now. I wonder what's down there, though?"

"Dungeons, I reckon," said Harry.

Mike turned a glare on him. "Not any that we use. They're all old down there. In fact, I don't think anyone goes down there anymore." An impossible thought occured to him. He knew it was unreasonable, and in fact that he was setting himself up for disappointment, but the thought wouldn't go away. He turned to the others. "Okay. The keys are over there; get them and start unlocking cells. Everyone, it doesn't matter if they're guards or not. Tell them to wait for me to get back. Be quick about it."

"Yes sir," said the feline. Harry nodded solemnly. Ray looked confused, but Mike didn't wait to explain it to him. Instead he made his way down the staircase the way he'd seen Bushroot coming from, trying not to just rush into the situation.

* * *

"You know, this really isn't all that bad," said Gosalyn. She took a big swallow of some kind of gray liquid. "I think this is beef stew! Are you going to eat yours?" Elizabeth didn't answer. The conversation had been awfully one-sided for the past few hours, Gosalyn thought. "If you're not going to eat it, I'll have it!" Actually, the food wasn't that good, but it was worth a try to get Beth talking. She hadn't even commented when Bushroot had brought them dinners just now; she'd just sat and stared for the past few hours, and frankly it was creepy. Gosalyn was upset too, but that didn't mean she was going to act like a zombie. But, Elizabeth always did have a flair for the dramatic. "Okaaaay, you lost your chance!" she said, and took hold of the bowl of liquid that was sitting in front of the Princess.

"Who's there?" said a voice from the corridor. Gosalyn froze, trying to decide if she should answer. If it was anyone but Negaduck, that was a good thing.

"Hello?" she said tentatively.

"Gosalyn?" The voice got closer, and then was right across from their cell.

"Over here!"

"Gosalyn! It is you!" Mike's face appeared in the window of the cell door.

"Mike...?" said Elizabeth faintly. Gosalyn gaped. She finally said something!

"Beth! Is it you? They said you were dead! Beth, say something!"

Elizabeth stood up slowly. "Mike! Wh-what are you doing here?"

He laughed, an awkward laugh that sounded close to tears. "You have no idea how hard you are to rescue!" he said. Elizabeth stood at the door and looked into his face. "I went out to look for you, and while I was gone _this_ happened, and then they said you were dead, and I had to team up with those fiends who kidnapped you the first time-"

Elizabeth looked confused. "You teamed up with the Fearsome Five?"

"No! No, not them. The other ones. I'm here with Darkwing. We-"

Elizabeth gasped. "Darkwing?"

Gosalyn echoed this. "He's alive? Is he with you?"

Mike nodded. "Yes, he's here. He's taking on Negaduck while I and the others free everyone else."

Gosalyn cheered. "WAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOO! Told you so, Beth!"

"Shhh! Keep it down! This is supposed to be a secret mission!" Mike glared at her, and she apologized. Elizabeth murmured something. "I'm sorry? Could you repeat that, Beth?"

"Launchpad..." she said, only a touch louder than before. "Is Launchpad with you? Is he all right?"

Something inside Mike went cold when she said this, as he understood. For a moment, he considered lying. "Launchpad...?"

"Tall duck, handsome, red hair..?" She looked so desperate, so hopeful. His heart broke.

"Oh. Him. Yes, he's here. With Darkwing." He closed his eyes as she cried out in pure joy.

"He's alive! Gosalyn, he's alive!"

"Told you!"

"Untie me, okay?"

Mike took a deep breath, and composed himself. Despite this, his first duty was still to the Princess and her family. Even if she had chosen an outlaw over him. "Beth, I can't find the keys. Stand back and I'll-" He was cut off as the door splintered in front of him, and broke open. The Princess stepped out, regally, brushing stray pieces of wood off of her dress.

Gosalyn's tone was at once awe-struck and accusatory. "Do you mean you could have done that the whole time?"

Elizabeth thought about this. "Hm. I suppose so. Oh, well. Shall we go?"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the throne room...

Bushroot, Quackerjack, the Liquidator, and Megavolt were all standing huddled in a group on the far side of the room. "He's so arrogant and self-centred!" muttered Bushroot as the Four glared at Negaduck from across the room.

"Workers unite! Unfair pay!" said Liquidator.

"We deserve some glory, too!" Megavolt chimed in.

"Yeah!" said Quackerjack. "I got tired of sleeping in the barn back before we ended up here!"

"So what are we gonna do about it?" asked Megavolt.

"Well, we did a great job taking out Darkwing's men," said Bushroot. "If we caught Negaduck off-guard, I'm sure we could..." He trailed off as they watched Negaduck sitting on the throne, still with his feet propped up, twirling a handgun on his finger. "Nahhhh," they said simultaneously.

Just then, the guard who had been at the rear entrance came running into the throne room, straight up to Negaduck. "My lord...," he said, breathing heavily.

"Yeah, yeah, go on," said Negaduck, and continued to twirl his gun, rather ominously now.

The guard gulped. "Ah... Bad news, sir," he said. Negaduck caught the gun and glared up at him. "The-- The castle has been invaded... I was overtaken at the back by several intruders and knocked unconscious. By the time I woke up they were already inside and we believe they're staging a jail break-"

Negaduck sat up sharply, and as a result nearly fell out of his throne. "What?!" The safety came off the gun. "Who was it!?"

Before the guard had a chance to answer, an arrow swished through the room and cut the wicks off of the candles lighting the room. The whole place went dark. A light flashed brightly, and Darkwing's voice, heavily amplified, surrounded them. "I am the terror that flaps in the night... I am the shadowy figure that invades your nightmares! I... am Darkwing Duck!"

Negaduck lit a match. "Darkwing Duck," he said, his voice filled with venom. The flame jumped around, highlighting the hateful look on his face. "You never stay dead, do you?"

"Not if there's tyranny to be fought!" said Darkwing eloquently.

Without taking his eyes off of Darkwing, Negaduck addressed the guard who was in attendance. "Go stop the jailbreak," he growled. The match burnt itself out and the room went dark again.

Bushroot nervously stumbled his way through the darkened room to the candles. "Looks like a fight of some kind," he said to his teammates. After fumbling with the matchbook for a second or two, he got one lit, then relit all the candles in the corner. "But I'm not worried," he continued. "I mean, the way we handled Darkwing's guys before, we'll have no problem this--" He gasped as he turned around to find that Megavolt and Quackerjack had both been knocked out, and two of Darkwing's thieves were confidently facing himself and the Liquidator.

Meanwhile, Darkwing and Negaduck had their own battle to settle. "So, it comes down to this, Negaduck," said Darkwing, staring his double down. Unruffled, Negaduck stared back. Darkwing cleared his throat and started again. "You don't have your gang to protect you now!" he said, pointing a finger at the leader of the Fearsome Five.

Negaduck smirked at the finger in front of him. "You always were a trite little loser, weren't you?" he asked. "Just how many cliches can you use in one conversation?"

"Hey, hey, hey-- I am _not_ trite! I've got more original phrases than you can shake a stick-- Uh, I mean, I may not... Uh...," Darkwing trailed off, temporarily at a loss for fresh dialogue.

"Yeah, yeah, well, anyway," said Negaduck, "I've let you babble long enough. I've waited for years to take you down, Deadmeat Duck... I guess dreams really do come true, don't they?" That said, he lunged at Darkwing's neck, arms extended. Darkwing dodged narrowly, and Negaduck caught only a part of his jacket sleeve. He didn't let this slow him down, however, and followed up with another swing.

Launchpad was more winded than he let on. Fortunately, he was pitted against Bushroot rather than the Liquidator, whose watery nature made him incredibly difficult to fight. Unfortunately, Bushroot avoided any hand-to-hand contact, choosing instead to let the plants that surrounded him protect him. Launchpad hadn't had any problems slashing his way through the plants at first, but it had started getting to him rather quickly. He wished he'd gotten more rest, but- the thought of why he was there spurred him on. Beth. Maybe this was even the one who had... done that to her. His resolved heightened. He took down a shrub that was charging at him, then grabbed Bushroot by the neck.

"Ack! Hey! Leggo! I didn't do anything to _you_!" cried Bushroot, a tremor in his voice.

Launchpad scowled. "It's not what you did to _me_- it's what you did to _her_." Bushroot gulped.

"Launchpad?" He caught his breath. It had to be his imagination. Praying that it wasn't, he turned around and saw her.

"Beth?"

She smiled at him, and even though he still couldn't quite believe it, he didn't care. He forgot Bushroot, and let him fall to the ground. The plant-duck picked himself up, grumbling. Launchpad didn't hear or see any of it. He walked towards Beth, and the walk quickly became a run. She ran from the double-door set, her arms outstretched, and when she reached him she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"Oh, Launchpad, Launchpad, I thought you were dead!" she said, her bill pressed against his neck.

His answer went into her hair. "That's what they told us about you." He nearly pinched himself to see if he was dreaming, and then decided that the hug was solid enough. He looked her over. Boy, she was beautiful. "Oh, Beth, I love you."

A wide range of emotions seemed to cross her face at once, ending with a smile, and she said, "I love you, Launchpad."

He kissed her. She kissed him back.

* * *

Mike watched them from the doors of the throne room. Gosalyn and the other freed prisoners stood behind and next to him. Gosalyn made a retching sound. "I really didn't need to see that!" she said.

"Me neither," muttered Mike. He wrenched his eyes from that sight, and looked across the room at the Fearsome Four. There were better things to focus on, things that would make the pain a little less. And one of those things had just defeated one of Darkwing's group members, while two others were apparently just regaining consciousness.

Mike looked behind him. He had thought that they'd managed to free more people than this! It had been extremely discouraging to find that nearly a third of the guards had turned and joined Negaduck, but surely there were supposed to be more of Darkwing's thieves here than this? Wait a minute... "Where's Ray?" he called.

Harry stuck his thumb over his shoulder. "Went that-a-way," he said. "Couldn't stop him."

'Couldn't stop him', huh? More like didn't try, Mike figured. "Did he have any members of your gang with him?"

Harry was silent, apparently thinking. Mike ground his teeth together in irritation- this was the _worst_ time for this kind of thing to happen! Finally Harry nodded slowly. "Yep, an' they all followed him."

"Swell." So they were missing any number of allies just now. And knowing Ray's sense of direction, they might never see those allies again. Well, no matter. Darkwing was taking care of Negaduck, so there were only four people for them to take out. How hard could it be?

* * *

"So... You 'took care' of the Princess, huh?" said Megavolt as he got to his feet. He looked at Elizabeth and Launchpad and stuck out his tongue. "She looks pretty alive to me..." At his side, Quackerjack's reaction duplicated Gosalyn's almost to a tee.

"False advertising!" exclaimed the Liquidator.

Bushroot ignored the accusations, and instead stared at the couple for a moment. "It's enough to make me sick," he muttered.

"Bushy's jealous!" teased Quackerjack.

"Not now, Ding-dong!" said Megavolt, smacking Quackerjack. "We can make fun of Bushroot any time... We have to take out Dripwing Schmuck and his gang again right now!"

"That hurt," whined Quackerjack as the Four moved out towards Darkwing's soldiers.

* * *

"Prepare yourselves!" Mike cried. He lifted his sword and pointed it straight into the air. "ATTACK!!!"

With that command, the present members of Darkwing's band (minus Darkwing and Launchpad), along with the palace guards, rushed forward to battle the Fearsome Four. Mike stood for a moment and watched as the first wave of attackers was taken out by a well-delivered zap from Megavolt. "Next?" giggled the electricity fiend.

Mike winced. He'd forgotten about their powers. Stupid, stupid, stupid! At least everyone hadn't been caught in the blast that time. "Careful! Watch each others backs!" he called. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Launchpad, still in the arms of the Princess. He held his temper in, though just barely. "You know, Launchpad, we could use a hand here!"

"Oh... Sorry," said Launchpad, who had just barely heard him. He lingered with Elizabeth for a split-second longer, and then ran to Mike's side. "What happened to DW?"

"He's detained," said Mike, pointing at Negaduck and Darkwing, who were still battling on the other side of the room. "I'm in charge for right now."

"Technically, I'm supposed to be in charge in this situation," said Launchpad mildly.

"Well, you weren't around to take charge," snapped Mike.

Launchpad shrugged, evidently not noticing Mike's hostility. "You're right. Good job." He patted Mike on the shoulder, and ran forward to defend his teammates. Mike growled, and then followed.

"Wow, it's a showdown!" said Gosalyn excitedly. "Beth!" she said softly, making her way over to her starstruck friend. "Isn't this _great_?"

"Yeah," said Beth dreamily. "He is."

"Uh... Right, Beth," said Gosalyn as she rolled her eyes.

* * *

Negaduck stumbled backwards from Darkwing's punch, and glanced at the situation. Those nobs weren't going to be able to hold their own under these circumstances! Couldn't they do anything right?!? He grumbled. Those idiot guards were just standing at the back of the hall, watching! "GUARDS!" he yelled, dodging another hit from Darkwing. He grabbed Darkwing's extended arm and flipped him. "If the goody-goodies win, you get thrown in jail with the rest of us! Don't forget that! Now _attack_!" Almost reluctantly at first, his guards entered the battle in defense of the Fearsome Five. However reluctant their attitude, though, they were evidently perfectly at ease defeating their former teammates.

* * *

Mike was making headway in his attack on the Liquidator. He still was unable to touch the villain, but he was at least beginning to figure out a pattern to his attacks. With a bit of luck and a lot of skill, he could consistently evade the Liquidator's attacks until the latter tired out.

He was therefore more than a little frustrated when one of his former teammates attacked him, drawing his focus away from the super-powered thief. "Sorry, Mike," said the guard, although his actions contradicted the apology. "I'm just following orders."

"Oh, give me a break!" snarled Mike. The Liquidator waved goodbye to him and started an attack on several of Darkwing's thieves at once. Mike was kept on the defensive by Negaduck's guard. All around the rest of the courtroom, Negaduck's other guards were attacking what palace guards they could reach.

Within ten minutes, the Fearsome Five went from barely holding their own to being very close to victorious. A large percentage of the 'good guys' had joined their early counterparts in an electrocuted pile; bodies encircled in vines hung in random spots all over the throne room. Quite a few half-drowned guards and thieves littered the stone floor. And then, there was Quackerjack, who had actually managed to defeat more than three opponents single-handedly, and even knock out one of them. The other two were in a boredom-induced coma after being exposed to Quackerjack's state-of-the-art talking "Mr. Current Events" doll.

The palace guards had fared better, since they outnumbered Negaduck's guards; unfortunately, they were now taking the brunt of the Fearsome Five's attacks, along with a handful of Darkwing's thieves who either had more stamina then their teammates, or were just plain lucky.

And Darkwing and Negaduck were still removed from the rest of the fight, each trying their best to kill (or perhaps just debilitate) the other.

* * *

Elizabeth and Gosalyn were stunned. After hearing Darkwing's tales of how he and his team had beaten the Fearsome Five countless times, this was unexpected, to say the least. "I must be seeing this wrong! It looks like they're losing!" said Gosalyn.

"At least Launchpad's okay," said Elizabeth optimistically. Gosalyn looked at her friend. "Silver lining...?" the Princess said with a sheepish grin and a shrug.

Gosalyn turned back to the action. "Ooh, I bet that hurt," she commented.

"Yeah. Ouch, that'll leave a mark," said Elizabeth.v"Wish we had some popcorn."

* * *

Harry watched another palace guard fall, then looked at Quackerjack. The clown was laughing. No big surprise- he'd been laughing for at least fifteen minutes straight, since this fight had begun. Harry didn't much cotton to that kind of loss of control. It made him want to slug the clown right in the beak, but so far Quackerjack had flipped out of the way of every swing Harry or anyone else had tried. Harry had stepped back and watched for a while, which hadn't pleased the palace guard who had been fighting with him. It was when the guard had turned to yell at him that Quackerjack had flipped by and kicked him to the ground. Harry figured it was the guard's fault. Got careless. You could even say he let his guard down, if you liked puns. Harry didn't.

"Well, looks like it's down to you and me, cowboy," giggled Quackerjack. "Put 'em up!" He laughed again. Harry had no idea what was so funny. "Well? Ain't got nothin' to say, pardner? How about 'there's a snake in muh boots!' I know, I know! 'Somebody's poisoned the water hole!'" He lost it. "Y'get it? 'Cause you're-" Quackerjack's giggling tapered off as a hand came down on his shoulder. He turned, and came face to face with the reinforcements- three more thieves who were quite ready for a fight. Ted took his hand off of Quackerjack's shoulder, and drew a dagger from his belt.

"This is most non-heinous!" said Ted cheerfully. The two other thieves chuckled.

Harry stepped forward, and slowly cocked his head. "You gotta ask yourself one thing, Toyman," he said in a low voice. "Do you feel lucky?"

"Mommy!" said Quackerjack in a small voice.

* * *

Bushroot grumbled. "Stay still! You're just making this take longer!" he snapped.

Mike laughed curtly in response. "Maybe... if you had the courage to face us... one on one-" He continued evading Bushroot's vines narrowly, looking almost like he was participating in a very high-intensity dance. Near him, Nire was doing much the same thing.

"Hey, don't insult my intelligence! You can't goad me into giving up my only defense!" said Bushroot.

Rats. Mike knew the plant-duck was a coward, but he'd hoped that maybe Bushroot had enough pride to believe that he wasn't. Guess not.

"Well, you can't goad us into giving in, either, Twiggy!" said Nire. She was almost graceful as she ran from the plants. On her, it did look rather like a dance. An interpretive dance, perhaps. And then, she tripped.

"Look out!" Mike yelled belatedly. Several vines sped toward her as she sat on the floor, momentarily stunned. Mike rushed forward, knowing that an attempt to save her was futile. Bushroot would just get them both, but he had to try. It was his duty.

"YAGH!" Mike heard Bushroot yell, and risked a look. He had to do a double-take.

"Ray!!" Sure enough, the lost thief had found the fight, and just in the nick of time. Mike looked around the rest of the room and saw the effects of the cavalry's arrival- Quackerjack was surrounded, and Megavolt was already defeated.

"Call off the plants," Ray said, holding his sword at Bushroot's throat.

Bushroot nodded as emphatically as he could without getting himself decapitated. "They're off! They're off!"

Ray grinned. "Great! Now, you're under arrest, in the name of His Majesty's Royal Palace Guardsmen Association. Or something. I'm not very good at being official." He grinned, apparently on the verge of blushing.

Mike helped Nire up, and addressed Ray. "Thanks," he said. Within the past few hours, his opinion of this particular thief had gone _way_ up.

"That's two you owe me, Junior," said Ray with a grin.

* * *

The Liquidator was trying to deal with Launchpad and Bo, and enjoying the upper hand until Bo caught sight of a mop in the corner. He tried to make a dash for it, but the Liquidator tripped him and cut him off at the pass. Launchpad made several attempts at knocking the Liquidator out, none of which worked. The Liquidator pushed him away, and he slid along the floor and crashed into the wall next to the mop. He stood up, shaking his head. "Well... Any crash you can walk away from... Hey," he said, noticing the mop. He picked it up and tossed it to Bo, who caught it in midair and jabbed it into the Liquidator's midsection.

"Curses! Foiled again!" said the Liquidator, and promptly imploded, his insides sucked into the mop. Bo twirled the mop by the handle proudly.


	11. Act X

**Darkwing Duck: Prince of Thieves**

* * *

Act X

Negaduck and Darkwing were evenly matched. The entire fight had been a near thing, but finally, one fighter gained the upper hand, and was currently using it to his full advantage.

"You- urgh- you might as well- ack!- give up, Negaduck!" said Darkwing.

"Brave words for someone who's gonna be pushing up daisies in about thirty seconds," said Negaduck smugly. He had Darkwing pinned to the ground, with his hands around the goody-two-shoes's throat. This was one of those moments that dreams were made of. He was actually getting a little bit giddy. Well, he would have been if he were anyone but Negaduck. "You never stop trying, I'll give you that. Let's see, I could just _choke_ you to death... But, ah, the lack of blood! Or maybe... First, I'll strangle you, then I'll stab you, then I'll hang you, then I'll... tattoo you..."

Darkwing was starting to find it hard to breathe. "How about you let him go?" he said, in a high-pitched voice out of the side of his mouth.

"NO!!" yelled Negaduck, tightening his hands. "Speak your last peace!"

As Darkwing started to lose consciousness, he decided that it was now or never and used all of his remaining strength to bring his legs upward and flip Negaduck off of him. He had more strength left in him than he knew, and Negaduck ended up hitting the wall behind him. Darkwing stood up and looked at his adversary. Negaduck had been stunned, and was looking a little woozy. "Had enough, Negs?" asked Darkwing, trying to sound more assertive than he felt.

"Ha...!" said Negaduck, who was sounding just as hazy as Darkwing felt. "Enough of what? Your... acrobat games?" He got to his feet, wavering a little.

_One good kick,_ thought Darkwing, _and he'll be out of commission._ He decided not to acknowledge the fact that he was just as close to being knocked out of the game. He prepared himself to launch a web-kick to Negaduck's face, but at the same moment, Negaduck charged at him again. Darkwing and Negaduck rammed into each other head on, and by sheer luck, Darkwing was the one who made it through the impact conscious.

He shook his head and looked at Negaduck, whom he was sitting on. "Heh... How's that for acrobatics, Negs?" he said aloud, grinning. He looked around the room, and noted with some surprise that the fight was over, and the Fearsome Five had been defeated without his help. Oh, well. First time for everything, he figured.

"Darkwing!" cried Gosalyn, seeing that the fight had ended. She ran over to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yep, yep, yep... Darkwing Duck defeats the denizens of delinquency yet again!" said Darkwing. Gosalyn hugged him, and he smiled and put his arms around her warmly. Elizabeth and Launchpad were already hugging, and then Elizabeth turned to her parents.

"Father... Mother!" She ran to them and hugged each one in turn. "This is Launchpad," she said, pointing to him. Launchpad waved shyly. "He's... a wonderful person." Launchpad blushed.

Binkie beamed. "Why, dear, that's wonderful!"

Herb nodded. "It certainly is! But I'm afraid he's still broken the law. GUARDS!"

The two palace guards who were still conscious stood at attention. Mike reluctantly joined them a moment later. Elizabeth was shocked, and Launchpad looked downright alarmed. Binkie sighed, and gave her husband a stern look. "Herb... They _did_ save us, _and_ our daughter..."

"Well... that's true," said the King. The guards started to wander away. Herb looked cross. "Wait! I have not dismissed you! You will still carry out my orders!" The guards looked at each other, and shrugged. Elizabeth and Launchpad looked across the room to Darkwing and Gosalyn, and all four silently prepared to escape if need be. Herb cleared his throat and announced, "I have a sudden appetite for fish and chips. Bring me some, and put it on the Royal Tab." Everyone in the room seemed to heave a sigh of relief as one of the guards left to get the King some takeout food. "As for you," he addressed the thieves, "anyone who saves my daughter has my eternal gratitude. No hard feelin's, spuds!" He chuckled. Elizabeth hugged him happily.

"Do you approve of Launchpad, then?" she asked hopefully.

"Oh, I certainly do!" Binkie chirped. "He seems brave, and he's quite handsome!"

"Aw, shucks," said Launchpad, blushing even more.

Elizabeth blushed, as well. "Mo-_ther_..."

"Well," said Herb thoughtfully, "I guess so." Suddenly, he caught sight of a small red piece of thread tied to his finger. Elizabeth saw it at the same time, and grabbed his hand and held it in both of her own, smiling widely. Her diversionary tactic failed, though. "Just so long as you don't get married," Herb said pleasantly. Elizabeth wilted.

Launchpad looked confused. "Huh? Why not? Does she have to marry royalty or somethin'? 'Cause, uh--"

With a laugh, Herb said, "No, no, nothing of the sort! She's simply forbidden to get married. When she was young I decided she'd never marry anyone."

Elizabeth put her hand to her forehead. "I always thought that was the silliest rule," she mumbled.

"Don't undermine your father, dear," whispered Binkie.

Darkwing approached the crowd, with Gosalyn at his side. "Excuse me, Your Majesty, but why _did_ you invent such a rule? It seems kind of useless, if you don't mind my saying so."

"Well, spud, it's funny you should ask that, 'cause darned if I forgot years ago!" Herb laughed again. "But why I did it doesn't matter, 'cause if I decided on something so important, it must've been for a good reason!"

"Does it have anything to do with my dad?" asked Launchpad.

"Your dad?" asked Elizabeth, confused.

"Yeah! Ripcord McQuack. Y'know, the King of Duckbergia. When I was a kid, he and the King of Santa Canardia got in a fight, and Dad ended up getting banished from- what's the matter?"

Elizabeth was agape. "You- your father is-?"

"Yeah. I thought you knew!"

Darkwing stared at her. "You didn't recognize the name McQuack?"

"We never talk about it here, because Father-"

She was cut off by the sound of the King grinding his teeth together. "_You_..." he rumbled, pointing at Launchpad. Launchpad gulped. Elizabeth cringed behind him. Darkwing prepared himself to come to his sidekick's aid. "_You_... How _dare_ you set foot in my kingdom!?"

"Uh... Sorry..." Launchpad took a step backwards.

"Get out!"

"But Father-" Elizabeth tried to protest.

"_Out_, before I have you arrested!"

"If you're going to arrest him, you can arrest me too!" cried Elizabeth. Herb froze. "Come on, this is something between you and Launchpad's father, not you and Launchpad! If anything, you should be thanking Launchpad for breaking that rule! He _saved_ your castle, and you, and _me_, several times over!" The King was contemplating her words. "And I love him, and I'm not going to let you do anything to him," she added, looking at Launchpad as she said it. He smiled, took her hand and squeezed it.

Herb sighed. "My daughter and the son of my most hated enemy, in love," he said. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

Launchpad spoke up, a tremor in his voice. "Would it help if I replaced the cheese curls?"

Darkwing, Gosalyn, Mike, and Elizabeth all exclaimed, "Cheese curls?!"

"Yeah. That's what the fight was about... My dad ate all of your dad's cheese curls at a party," said Launchpad. Elizabeth looked exasperated. Darkwing looked disgusted. Gosalyn started snickering to herself. Even Mike looked a little bit fed up.

"Now I remember! They were good cheese curls..." whined Herb. "I... I don't know..."

The door to the throne room opened. "Your Majesty, here's your fish and chips combo," said the guard.

Herb's eyes lit up. "All right, young McQuack. You prove that you have the honor that your father lacked. I forgive you!" With that he rushed to his food and started eating.

"So... I can marry your daughter?" Launchpad said hopefully. Mike glared at him, and Ray patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"No, that rule still stands," said Herb with his mouth full. Mike chuckled softly.

Darkwing spoke up. "But-"

Elizabeth shook her head. "Don't argue. It's a start. Besides, I'm in no hurry to settle down. I was getting used to being part of your group... I think I'd like to try being a Warrior Princess for a while." She smiled at Launchpad, and put her arm around him. He looked surprised by her forwardness, then grinned and pulled her close for a kiss.

"Ew! P.D.A!" said Gosalyn, sticking her tongue out in disgust.

Mike grunted and turned away. "This is getting sick," he said sourly. "I'm going outside."

"One moment!" called the King. Mike's heart nearly stopped beating. The King was addressing him! This could be it! This could be the moment he was waiting for! He turned, and bowed nervously.

"Y-yes, Your Majesty?"

"You have served me well, young man," said Herb. He wiped his hands on his robes, and went on. "You're a Junior Guard, are you not?"

"Yes. I mean, yes, Your Majesty." Oh, this was going well so far...

"For your bravery, young guard, you deserve a promotion." Mike beamed and vowed to remember this moment for the rest of his life. "I now declare you _Captain_ of the Junior Palace Guards!"

Mike had to fight to keep the smile on his face. "Th-thank you, Your Majesty," he managed. It certainly hadn't been what he was expecting... Prior to this, the Junior Palace Guard had _had_ no ranks, although he had considered himself the leader, anyway. So in effect, this meant nothing. But, well, it wasn't so bad. It was certainly a start. In fact, this left him a lot of room for growth! With a genuine smile, he said, "Thank you very much!"

The King smiled graciously and turned to Ray, who was keeping an eye on the Fearsome Five. "Your actions are also appreciated, young man! You are now _second-in-command_ of the Junior Palace Guards!"

Ray looked up, surprised. "Uh... Thanks," he said. The King nodded, and left. "Does he remember who I am?" Ray asked Mike.

"Probably not," Mike grinned. "Be grateful. I think you'll make a great Junior Guard."

"Feh," said Ray. "I'm a top-notch thief! Why would I want to be second-in-command of the Junior Palace Guards?" He grinned when Mike looked disappointed. "I'll have your job in a week."

"In your dreams," countered Mike competitively, but jovially. He was glad Ray was going to stay. Having a new friend, other than Elizabeth, would help a lot.

* * *

Darkwing looked down at Gosalyn, who was asking him for every detail of his escape from certain death and capture earlier. She didn't seem to believe him when he told her the short version, but he was too tired at the moment to come up with a better story. One thing he did realize, however, was how much he'd miss her if he moved on in his travels without her. "Say Gos," he interrupted her. She flashed him an annoyed look, but fell silent. "Are you up for travel?"

"Travel? How do you mean?"

"Well, if you were, to, say, live more in a camp, and wander from kingdom to kingdom a bit, then, would you mind that kind of life?"

"Would I _mind_? No way! That's the kind of life I've always wanted- Wait. Are you asking me if I want to... join you?" He nodded. "_Keen gear_!" she cried, and leapt onto him, strangling him with a tremendous hug.

"I take it that's a 'yes'," he choked.

"You bet! But I thought you said that I couldn't join until I was older?" she asked, loosening the hug.

"Well, you wouldn't really be a part of the band yet, exactly. Let's just call it... 'training'." She grinned, and he hugged her.

* * *

Elizabeth looked around. Everyone was having a happy ending, and it was great. She tightened her arms around Launchpad, loving the way that he smiled down at her. She noticed Bo standing in the corner, and saw that he was talking to Terry. She couldn't recall when she'd met Terry, or how she knew her name. And when she thought of it, she couldn't quite remember when Terry had gotten here, either. The memory was strangely elusive, and kept sliding through her mind's grasp before she could grab hold of it. Still, seeing Terry and Bo together was nice. She waved at them, and they waved back.

A moment later, she noticed that the Fearsome Five were gone. "Launchpad, where did we move the Fearsome Five?" she asked, a little bit warily.

"The roof," he said casually. "Remember? So that they couldn't dig their way out."

This explanation was vaguely dissatisfying to Elizabeth, though she couldn't say why. It made sense... didn't it?

"Vell," said an Austrian-accented voice, "the roof is obviously another term for the desires you have been repressing. If you let yourself feel them, and eat the poundcake, you vill be fine." Elizabeth turned around to find Sigduck Freud standing behind her. He took a puff on his cigar significantly.

Elizabeth was confused. "Um..."

Ted ran across the room to where Freud was standing. "Wow! Long time no see! How's it goin', Freud-dude?"

"Have ve met?" asked Freud politely.

Ted was about to answer, when a flash of light and a loud rushing sound filled the air. The room got dark, and a wind picked up. "Excellent!" cried Ted, barely audible over the noise.

The Queen screamed and fainted. Launchpad tightened his arms around Elizabeth's shoulders as ... _something_ descended into the throne room. It appeared to be a tall, metallic box, certainly large enough to fit several people into. As the onlookers watched, the front of the box folded itself open, and a man stepped out, dressed in very strange clothing.

"Ted! Everything all right, I trust? Sorry it took us so long to pick you up, but we had a little trouble with the booth. The months in between when we lost you and right now are out of order at the moment," said the man.

Ted smiled. "Most triumphant entrance, Rufus!"

"I know, but hurry up! Time's still passing in San Dimas, you know!" said Rufus. He checked his watch. "You have a concert in a half an hour, and you haven't picked up a guitar in almost five months."

"Bogus," said Ted softly. "Oh well. Catch ya later, guys!" He rushed into the booth next to Rufus, and they slid the door shut. The wind and noises began again, and with another flash of light, the time-traveling phone booth disappeared into thin air...

* * *

"Uh?" said Beth groggily as the image of the phone booth faded from her head. "Geez... what did I eat last night to give me a dream like that?" she asked herself. Her head seemed lower than it normally did when she woke up. She opened her eyes halfway. The pillow was on the floor, that was the reason.

It couldn't be seven o'clock yet, could it? She found the clock and brought it close to her face, squinting to read it. It was. She groaned and dragged herself out of bed. "Weird dream," she said as she shuffled towards the bathroom. "That's the last time I read Freud before going to bed, though... Ha!" she gave way to a sudden burst of laughter as she remembered what he had said in her dream: something about eating poundcake. Freud _never_ said stuff like that. His diagnoses were all related to... Well, never mind.

Repressing desires to eat poundcake... That was ridiculous. She could eat all the poundcake she wanted! If she liked it. Which she didn't, actually. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and stuck her tongue out at it. Too bad the dream had deteriorated like that; she would have been interested to see what was going to happen with her and Launchpad after-

Wait a minute.

"Launchpad?" whispered Beth thoughtfully.

* * *

Next: Identity Crisis!

* * *

_A/N: I'm sorry this took so long to put up. I've been very busy at work lately. Meanwhile this story has so many references and oddities to it that I have to explain a few things. _

_First of all, if you're at all familiar with pop culture you'll recognize at least a few of the references to "Star Wars". There are TONS. I love the original trilogy so much. :) I also intentionally based "Princess" Beth on Leia, and her interactions with Launchpad a little bit on Han/Leia. I wanted to make LP like Han but I just couldn't; he's too nice a guy! So I kind of made him a little like him, but different. _

_Second of all, all the new characters. A lot of them are named after friends of mine, although none are actually based on them character-wise. Mike, Terry, Bo, are all good friends of mine while a few more just get name-dropped. (I needed a supporting cast.) The other original characters are mostly either direct references to, or else inspired by, other media: Ted is from "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", and if you didn't get that, that's where the bit at the end comes from too; Harry is a sort of Clint Eastwood character, part Dirty Harry, part Man With No Name. Anybody who has ever seen "Ranma 1/2" will probably recognize that Ray is based HEAVILY on Ryouga Hibiki. At first he was just going to be a walk-on character but the story got away from me and Ray became a very important character! I guess it's because I love Ryouga so very very much; I had to give him a big role. _

_Thirdly, I want to list the references that this story makes to various other movies, TV series, books, and so forth. But I can't, because there are so many that I CAN'T REMEMBER THEM ALL. Someday I will. _

_And fourth, although I originally intended this story as just an AU with no place in continuity of my series, a prereader read it when it was nearly done and said "Now I'll guess the ending. Beth is going to wake up and see Launchpad in a new light, right?" and I hadn't intended that at all, but I realized he was right. That was EXACTLY what was going to happen. So here you have it. :) Things start to pick up from here on out, bwahahaha! ...Yeah. Thanks for reading!_

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© 1995, 1997 by R. Littlehales. All Darkwing characters are owned by Disney and were used without permission; all other characters created and owned by R. Littlehales. This story may be distributed as long as the author is given credit, and no profit is made from it. This author may be credited as long as the profit is given distribution. All events in this story are true, but were changed to protect the innocent and are now so different from the way they originally were that they are worthy of being a Disney feature. :)


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